When you adopt a child from foster care, you have no idea what that child’s background might be.

The child may have been exposed to many different religions, cultures or traditions. The child may have a decided preference about one of these areas, and you being open to it can be a make it or break it point in your relationship.

Tonight I went to my friend, Elaine’s, house and celebrated Hanukkah with her family. Then we went to their temple and observed a cooking demonstration of some traditional Jewish foods, and we got to sample them. It was beautiful and I am very glad I was able to join this family.

This is not a part of my background, or the background of any of my kids, but I am fascinated by the Jewish religion and culture. I want to learn more. I am firm and confident in my Christian faith, and I have no intention of converting, I just wanted to learn.

This is the attitude we need to embrace when new kids enter our homes. What are the traditions and cultures they have experienced before? I’m not saying you need to change your religion or anything so drastic, but being open to exploring the things that are important to your child should be important to your family.

If you adopt a child from another race or culture, would you expect that child to “forget” that part of their identity? I doubt it, so why should we discount their past experiences?

If serving meals at a soup kitchen is important to your child, should you discount that and say you’re going to do it anymore? It may destroy an important part of your child if you do.

Many traditions can be easily explored or incorporated into your family life. The temple did not burst into flames when I entered it, and my church did not crumble to the ground when I taught my Sunday school kids about Hanukkah.

In the “old days” children used to get oranges in their Christmas stockings. That might be a tradition that was passed on to your child from a grandparent. Holding on to that part of the past can be important to a child.

Sit down with your children and find out what is important to them to have as a tradition. When Hannah and I spend time together, I tell her what the traditions in our family our, so she has an idea what to expect when Christmas comes around. So far she hasn’t had anything that she wanted to do that we don’t, but if she does we will be open to exploring that and incorporating it into our own holiday traditions.

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