Mama, I missed you

There are times in your adoption journey and parenting when you know you have done something right. Mine happened this weekend.

In stark contrast to the lukewarm response I received when I visited Sammy in his new foster home,the reception I received from Hannah was beautiful and heartwarming.

I was apart from Hannah for forty eight hours, which is the longest I have been away from her in the ten months she has been with us. I attended my bible study class, and then Hannah spent the night with her “fairy godmother” while my husband and I had our first date in the ten months she has been with us. Yes, that’s right a real date where two adults go out together without children.

When we met at church this morning, Hannah came over and gave me a hug and said “Mama, I missed you.” She then told me about the fun she had with her “fairy godmother” and what they did.

As we were sitting in church, I could tell she was short on sleep and she wanted to be in my lap or holding on to me at all times. I took her out to the couch in the narthex and held her in my lap. She repeatedly told me she loved me and that she missed me. She then slept from the sermon until the end of the service. She was both physically and emotionally drained.

If any of you have a child with attachment issues, you know how monumental it is for a child to be able to put words to those emotions. Instead, the kids usually act out rather than express true emotions. The fact that she was able to tell me this was incredible.

She is still a little “clingy.” After church we cuddled on the couch for a little bit, then we both went up to my bed and took a nap. She spent the afternoon on the couch between my husband and me either coloring, or getting the rare treat of watching some cartoons. Throughout the day she has told me she loves me and that she missed me.

Since she has had trust issues in the past I asked her if she was worried that I might not come back. She very confidently responded that she knew I would come back. I had no doubt that she truly believed it and knew that I was not leaving her. This is when you have the “ah-ha” moment that your child has attached to you. These are the days and times when this makes everything worth it.

Photo credit – Hannah asleep during cuddle time

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