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Parenting children with emotional issues can be very difficult, as well as lonely. Sometimes it can be very hard to find people you can talk to and understand what you’re going through.
The internet is a wonderful invention. You meet people you would never have the chance to meet otherwise. I have met an incredible group of people that I am blessed to have in my life. Without the internet, I wouldn’t be blogging today. It is through the friendships I developed online that I had the connections that could lead me here today.
I have talked many times about the lists on Adoption.com and ATN. These are the main lists that I hang out on, but there are so many more.
Adoption.com has forums for every aspect of adoption. From special needs, to fetal alcohol, birth parents, adoptees, foster parents, search and reunion, attachment, and even forums for specific states. They are all provided free of charge, and let me tell you, there are some incredible people on the lists. I have met several of the members in person and love to spend time with them. You can “subscribe” to the lists for free. Just register for a member ID and password. You can also upgrade to a premium membership for $20 a year. This means that you can read all posts without ads, and you can play games in the arcade (I have a love/hate relationship with the arcade).
At ATN we maintain six different lists. Some are more active than others. Most of our lists are for parents, and are divided by age and severity of the child’s issues. We also have lists called “Little Horses” for siblings of the adopted or foster kids, “Big Zebras” for adult adoptees who are struggling with attachment issues, and a list for professionals. All of our lists are provided free of charge, but we do offer a membership for $35 a year. This gets you 6 issues of the newsletter, Hoffbeats, that we publish each year, access to the members only section of our website, discounts at ATN sponsored events, and access to the lending library.
From these two groups we have started regional get togethers. They are incredible. Here in the Midwest we gather in Gurnee, IL. We have had small gatherings with as few as two or three people, and we have had larger ones with about twenty people. It is awesome to be able to sit and talk with other parents who understand the issues that we deal with. To be able to not have to censor what you say, or wonder whether or not what you have just said will be taken the wrong way. Groups have also formed in New England, Atlanta, and the Kansas/Missouri area.
We tell our kids not to talk to strangers on-line or to meet people in person that they have talked to on-line. I have broken that rule many times, but always meet people at a neutral location. My niece was blown away that I have done this. I still don’t recommend it for our kids, but it is a great avenue for parents. I have come away from every gathering feeling refreshed, renewed, and mostly I have laughed.
I just love the blogs. I am so glad that I found them – I make hourly rounds to see who is blogging.
There is a saying, “There is comfort in numbers”. I feel that way about adoption.com – the bloggers let me know that I am not alone!