Everyone looks for something different in the providers they choose for their kids. I personally know I have found the right one when Sammy hates them. Yes, that’s right, when he hates them.

Our attachment therapist, and the kids’ psychiatrist fall into that category. Since the psychiatrist was referred by the attachment therapist (thank you) it would make sense that they’d be on the same wave length as far as styles of practice.

Dealing with traumatized kids, kids with attachment issues, or kids who just don’t care, like Sammy, the criteria for a good provider are entirely different.

If someone wants to see my child alone in the room, thank you, I’ll find someone else. Sammy makes false allegations and tells so many lies that it can be both frightening and hilarious. He had one professional convinced that he had both migraines and asthma, and was prescribed medication for them.

The doctor that we have confronts Sammy on his behaviors, and calls it as he sees it. This is the main reason that Sammy doesn’t want to get near him. At our last appointment he told Sammy that his problems were about 20% medication management, and the other 80% was his attitude.

I also don’t look for someone to try to be a “buddy” to my kids. Their job is manage medication and treatments, not try to make friends with my child. Some people say that the relationship works better if the child feels comfortable with the provider. Not my kids. They don’t feel safe with someone they can manipulate and lie to. Providers who want to be buddies with my kids fall into this category. They’ll believe anything my kids tell them. Bad plan for my household.

The other good part about our psychiatrist is that he listens to me, and treats me as if I have a brain. He knows my background and that I advocate for my kids and educate myself about their issues and medications. When we first put Sammy on medication for his Bi-Polar disorder, he laid out the medication options and the pros and cons of each medication. We then had an active discussion about how to proceed. If I say that the “symptoms” have gotten worse, or that I am concerned about side effects, he listens and doesn’t blow me off.

I wish everyone had a doctor for their kids that is as great as this doc is for my kids.

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