This is sort of a follow up to my “Why are you angry?” blog. I didn’t intend for there to be a follow up, but it happened so here goes.

Yesterday I was at a Pampered Chef party. The party was at the house of Hannah’s best friend A. A’s mom was the hostess and several people in attendance were teachers, one being a special education teacher to severely autistic kids.

A’s older sister is in the autistic spectrum, leaning more toward Aspberger’s Syndrome. She also has Sensory Integration issues (I promise I will blog about both of these things in the very near future). A’s mom is concerned because her daughter is in a very large classroom pending completion of an addition on the school. A’s mom expressed her concern to the school board, as any good mom would do.

In return she received a very nasty letter from one of the school board members. Through the tone of the letter it became very apparent he does not like his job and it’s far past time he leave it.

However, the part that sent me into laughing hysterics was contained in the first paragraph. He proceeded to tell this wonderful mom that he understood her struggles with autism because he has a seven year old nephew with autism and a twenty three year old nephew who is developmentally delayed.

I’m sorry buddy, but you don’t have the first clue. You don’t get it until you live it. I don’t fully get it. I have been around this little girl and around Julie’s LuLu. I can see some signs of when the kids are about to melt down or are over loaded. I am learning more about autism and Asperberger’s, but I don’t live it. I don’t know what day to life is like. I have had a variety of issues in my house with the kids who have crossed my threshold, but I don’t live it.

I had a wonderful social worker that understood this issue. She was the state worker involved in Kory and Mackenzie’s cases. About a year after we lost the kids and about six months after we had identified Tommy’s issues as attachment and trauma related, she called me up and asked me to speak to her co-workers. She wanted me to explain what a day in the life of parenting a child with attachment issues was like. She said “I get it as much as I can, but I don’t live with it.” BINGO!!!

I found this school board member’s letter to be so derogatory toward a mom who was working hard to do right by her daughter. We had a group talk with the other teachers, and I suggested some modifications that needed to be made to the IEP to get this little girl the services she needs. I was able to do this because we had made the same modifications to Sammy’s IEP.

Let’s hope this gentleman (and I use the term loosely) does not seek a seat on the school board when his term expires.

More blogs on

Autism here and here.

Sensory Integration

IEPs here and here.

Photo credit