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As I am writing this, Hannah is upstairs having a tantrum. We should be out Trick-Or-Treating, but she is refusing to listen to my instructions and pretending that she doesn’t know what they were.
It has been an exciting day so far. My husband is out of town for a business meeting so it’s just me and Hannah. We went to church, went to lunch and then off to see High School Musical 3. The plan was to come home and have her change into her costume then head off to collect as much candy as humanly possible. She knew the schedule, so this is not taking her by surprise and she handles transition very well.
Hannah has been looking forward to today. We got her bride costume about a month ago. This is a real miniature bride dress complete with veil. We found it at a thrift shop for a steal and she has been anxiously waiting to wear it. However, the dress is sleeveless and it is in 40s temperature wise, along with a stiff 20 MPH wind. It’s downright cold. I told Hannah to put on her white turtleneck under her dress and then wear her coat. I know that she heard me because she asked detailed questions about the turtleneck. Now she is pretending that she doesn’t remember that I told her to put on the turtleneck. It is a passive-aggressive way of telling me that she cannot handle this right now.
Rather than using the words that she is perfectly capable of using, she is choosing to act out. This is how our kids handle things on a regular basis. In many cases the kids don’t know the words for the feelings, but Hannah does. This is just a choice she is making. I have been through this many times so I know what is going on, but for many parents it is frustrating. You want to have fun and take your child but sometimes they sabotage it. Whether it’s excitement or fear, the emotions that they feel overwhelm them. This is the point where we have to put our dreams aside for the emotional well being of our children.
When Hannah is done with her tantrum, I will do holding with her but right now she is too worked up. I am not being horribly mean to her. On Wednesday they have dress up day at school and on Friday a neighboring community has their trick-or-treat and a party for kids. She will still have the opportunity. It just won’t be today. If she continues to act out, I will know without a doubt that she can’t handle this this year and I will act accordingly.
Hi! I Read the profile and I think she is addorable! Just moved down from Ohio, Im actually from Knox. But I cant have kids and my fiance has 3 adopted kids from a previous marriage. He has donated a kiddney to his daughter. They are great kids. We bought a house here and Im seriously concidering adoptiing. Thanks, Lisa
I have a foster child and she throws tantrums about once a week she is 8 years old My husband and I have had her and her 4 year old brother for 3 months It doesnt seem to be getting any better
I have been fortunate not to have any temper tantrum thowers. They say you have to take away the payoff they get from throwing the tantrum. Do they get their way afterwards? Do you give in?
But.. they also say to talk to your kids about smoking and drugs and no one talked more then I did and it did NO good!
I was a foster/adopted child, I am now an adult. I am not trying to be rude here but being a foster kid comes with emotional issues sometimes kids have no control of or know how to handle appropriately and probably won’t until adulthood comes.
Be patient with her and if she throws a fit, then let her know you love her anyway. She is a child, not an adult so you should not expect her to know how to behave the way you want her to. Pick your battles and love her unconditionally. She is the victim, not the problem.
My foster child threw two hour tantrums. The phych. pithim on seisure med and he has almost stopped. Terret
My foster child threw two hour tantrums. The phych. put him on seisure med and he has almost stopped. Terret
(o; I am here because I am considering fostering or fostering to adopt. My county hasn’t been too helpful. But I ran into your post.
What happened to you has happened to me many times with my bio three kids. The EXACT same thing. It’s cold, wear the coat under the costume, FREAK OUT. Or, the year my daughter was 4 and truly believed her mermaid tail I made and hand stitched sequins on, was actually going to turn her into a mermaid and didn’t. In my opinion, halloween for kids is the equivalent of them BELIEVING Barney is real. They believe in an image of themselves in THAT costume. Parents ruin it by trying to get them to change that image they have in their little heads. When my son went as a knight he didn’t want to carry the candy bag because it “ruined” his whole costume. He thought he would carry it back to me to put in the bag. He was 8. He has an IQ in the 120 range, normal kid, except on halloween when the fake blood looks too orange becauwe mom wouldn’t spring for the real looking stuff that cost $1 more.
Best of luck!
I’m here because I am considering adopting a child from foster care. I have two biological children and let me tell you they have been loved and cared for from day one – but they still throw terrible tantrums! Last halloween my son had a huge fit b/c he didn’t want to wear his costume (even though he picked it out). How can you tell if a child is acting out b/c of “issues” or if they are just being a kid??