Comments on: How to NOT help a child with abuse http://fost-adopt.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/how-to-not-help-a-child-with-abuse News and information for those planning to adopt through foster care as well as firsthand accounts of those who have. Wed, 11 Nov 2009 23:19:01 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: NCOZADD@aol.com http://fost-adopt.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/how-to-not-help-a-child-with-abuse/comment-page-1#comment-1719 NCOZADD@aol.com Sun, 26 Aug 2007 20:51:42 +0000 http://foster-adopt.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/08/25/how-to-not-help-a-child-with-abuse#comment-1719 Not only is it interesting how many of us who are parenting survivors of abuse are themselves survivors... but also how many of us did not report it. Not only is it interesting how many of us who are parenting survivors of abuse are themselves survivors… but also how many of us did not report it.

]]> By: Faith Allen http://fost-adopt.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/how-to-not-help-a-child-with-abuse/comment-page-1#comment-1718 Faith Allen Sun, 26 Aug 2007 14:20:39 +0000 http://foster-adopt.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/08/25/how-to-not-help-a-child-with-abuse#comment-1718 I know many abuse survivors with similar stories. They found the courage to tell, but their parents chose to "avoid a scandal" and assumed the child would be "resilient" if they just pretended that it never happened. The parents' reaction caused just as much damage as the initial trauma.<br /> <br /> None of my abuse was ever reported, either. In my case, I was too frightened to tell. Also, when the abuse is happening under your own roof and when your parent is the one providing other abusers with access to you, it is hard to know who to tell, anyhow. <br /> <br /> I am glad you had your great-grandmother in your life. For me, my saving grace was my sister. We are both certain that, if either of us had been an only child, we would have turned out much differently.<br /> <br /> - Faith I know many abuse survivors with similar stories. They found the courage to tell, but their parents chose to “avoid a scandal” and assumed the child would be “resilient” if they just pretended that it never happened. The parents’ reaction caused just as much damage as the initial trauma.

None of my abuse was ever reported, either. In my case, I was too frightened to tell. Also, when the abuse is happening under your own roof and when your parent is the one providing other abusers with access to you, it is hard to know who to tell, anyhow.

I am glad you had your great-grandmother in your life. For me, my saving grace was my sister. We are both certain that, if either of us had been an only child, we would have turned out much differently.

- Faith

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