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Whether you are celebrating Passover or Easter, this week is going to a busy, and probably difficult one for your family.
Many of our kids do not handle crowds, stress and changes in schedule or routine very well. It turns into mass chaos.
Here are some tips to help you get through the holidays.
• Practice with your kids- Have them practice scenarios that you expect to come up and how to handle them. What if Great-Aunt Minnie wants to hold him in her lap? What if she is feeling overloaded or anxious? What if someone asks a question they don’t want to answer? If children have strategies, and can practice them at a time when they do not feel pressured, it can help to ease anxiety.
• Have an exit plan- If you notice that your kids are getting anxious, or your family is not handling things with your children appropriately, have an exit plan ready. Have a family key word or sign that lets everyone know it’s time to leave. You do not have to make explanations as to why you are leaving. You are doing what is best for your family.
• If you’re going to more than one place, have down time scheduled in between- When we still attended family functions, we would take the kids home for a nap, or just some cuddle or quiet time in between events. They needed this time to calm down in between.
• Have a time for “physical” release- If you have a child that has ADHD, or is normally very active, being cooped up in a house with a bunch of adults is very stressful. Take him outside to run for a while to release some energy. Go to a park before the event to allow time to run and play. Our kids need that physical release.
• Bring food along- If you have a child who is a picky eater, or who has other food issues, bring food along that you know will not be an issue. Offer to make a dish for the hostess that your child can (or will) eat. Keep a small bag of snacks easily available.
• Keep gifts to a minimum- We fought this battle for a number of years. Our kids were inundated with gifts, despite our very clear requests to family members not to do this. We scaled back on our own gift giving and kept Easter baskets and candy very small. One year I dumped all the candy from the baskets together, and it filled a one gallon ziplock bag, per child. WAY too much for any child. When baskets arrived, our kids were allowed to go through the basket and choose one toy, and one piece of candy. I took the rest and handed it out slowly.
• Tell your child what’s going to happen- Kids who have had a lot of change in their lives, usually don’t do well with changes in routine. Prepare your child ahead of time for what is going to happen, giving as many details as possible, without being overwhelming. If your child can read, write down the schedule. If your child can not read, you can draw pictures or create a time line with pictures of what’s going to happen, or family members they will see.
Whatever your plans are for the coming, may it be filled with peace and the blessings that the holidays have to offer.
