Although I have never been hit by a Mack truck, I think what I’m feeling right now is pretty similar to that feeling.

Before I left for my Lay Academy class yesterday, one of our pastors met the six of us who were leaving for the class and dropped a nice bombshell on us. After twenty years as the pastors of our church, she and her husband have accepted the calling to another church.

I am not looking forward to this change. My pastors have been incredibly supportive and have felt many emotions about my children. They grieved the loss of our foster children with us. They have struggled with Sammy’s issues right along side us, and they delight in the joy that is Hannah. My kids in turn love both of them.

Tomorrow is going to be a big day in our church. The entire congregation was notified by a letter that arrived in everyone’s mail box today. Some “select” people, like our Lay Academy group, were told ahead of time. Tomorrow will be a day of discussion and our pastors will be answering questions from many congregation members and our kids.

Not wanting my kids to hear this news from anyone else, I held Hannah as I told her that our wonderful friends would be leaving us. For a moment she held strong, but I could see the change in her face, and within a few seconds she fell back against me, and began the most gut wrenching sob.

She was crying for the soon to be loss, but she was also grieving something else that she couldn’t verbalize. She has yet another loss of someone significant in her life, and her emotions showed that. This “session” was the purging of the grief of all the other losses, in addition to this one. I held her while she let it all out.

Next came the phone call to Sammy. This is the only church we have attended since he joined our family. When I first told Sammy the news he simply replied “yeah” to my comments. After I was done, he asked the same question that Hannah asked “Are we going to go to that church now?” When I told him no, the tears and the anger and frustration came. He began to “argue” the decision as if, if he could just say the right thing they would change their minds and stay.

I am glad that my kids love our church and our pastors this much, but I hate that they have to grieve yet another loss. I don’t know how our Sunday school kids are going to take this, and quite frankly, I’m not looking forward to our class tomorrow.

I have a feeling the next six weeks are going to go more quickly than I want them to, and that Hannah will do more grieving for all her losses. I anticipate a lot of cuddle time on the couch in our future.

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