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Florida is one of two states that have specific law prohibiting “gay” adoption. This week this law got a shot that wasn’t expected.
A gay man and his partner in Florida were approved to adopt the 13 year old boy that they had been foster parents to for the last seven years. The boys social worker recommended the adoption and the judge upheld the workers decision.
Personally, I agree with the decision. It’s in the best interest of the child. These are the only parents this boy has known for the past seven years, or over half his life. Would it be better for him to pull him from this home and have him start all over again? What would it do to this child’s trust? Kids in foster care rarely get to spend seven years in the same home. In most cases he could have had ten moves or more by now. Instead, he was fortunate enough to be able to stay in the same home, with the same parents and have consistency in life.
The other thing that gets me about this story is that these men were found suitable to be foster parents for more than seven years, but when it comes to wanting to make a lifetime commitment to the child, suddenly they’re unsuitable. How exactly did they become unsuitable by wanting to give a child a permanent home? What made them good enough for seven years? Are we saying that foster children get or deserve lesser “quality” parents than adopted children? I’m really confused about this.
One comment about the story really has me scratching my head:
I’m sure there are real mom and dad families out there that will miss an opportunity to lovingly care for this child, to give him the proper teaching of life.
Does this mean that only children who have the “traditional” family of a mother and father are being properly cared for? What about children who have a single mother or father? I know many great single parents who are both foster and adoptive parents, and yes, I know fantastic parents who happen to be gay.
Instead of focusing on what is right for the child, these people are focusing on the sexual orientation of the couple involved. Is the child being well cared for? Is the child happy? Does the child want to remain in the placement?
Having dealt with social workers for almost 10 years now, I know that in most cases the worker really care about the kids and want what is best for him. The fact that the worker is willing to stand up and support these parents when it goes against the current law says something to me about how she feels about the placement. I don’t think she would “go to the mat” for a family she didn’t feel confident in.
I am glad this boy does not have to move and that he gets to stay with his real parents.
I’ve made some “Real Mom” and “Real Dad” shirts and put them on my cafepress store.
http://www.cafepress.com/grandparentgift/1420316
Anyone see the child abuse story on Oprah this week? Those girls live the next suburb over from me in Ohio. They were drugged and horrifically sexually abused and video taped by their friend’s father during sleepovers. This man was a “typical” suburban husband and dad. This guy has been labeled as the most active downloader of child porn in the USA. Gay/lesbian does not equate with pedophile nor does straight/married necessarily equate with non pedophile.
Anyone see the child abuse story on Oprah this week? Those girls live the next suburb over from me in Ohio. They were drugged and horrifically sexually abused and video taped by their friend’s father during sleepovers. This man was a “typical” suburban husband and dad. This guy has been labeled as the most active downloader of child porn in the USA. Gay/lesbian does not equate with pedophile nor does straight/married necessarily equate with non pedophile.
And gee, there is such a line up of people waiting to adopt teen boys. Hello.
And I find it so stupid that they prosecute hate crimes in the US yet legislate descrimination as perfectly fine.
And, my kids made false allegations against potential adoptive parents once. The parents were kept from being able to adopt again but they continued to foster-there is a double standard and you really have to wonder why that is.
I’m glad this child got to keep his family.
Wow. I just cannot believe this! (I’m a social work student right now actually.) Since I am recently a birth mother too, this is a topic I am big in! I HONESTLY was considering a couple like this for my child! They can parent too! They can be GREAT parents! I think people fear them also because they fear the couple will be pedophiles. Come on! The couples just want their chance at having children tooooo!
As much as I disagree with their personal choices, I have very little issue with homosexual couples adopting. Why? I guess because we all have things in our lives that make us less than perfect parents. Kids need to be loved. Has anyone read the book “Martian Child” ? True story about a single, gay man adopting a troubled kid. AMAZING BOOK!!! The movie version changed the plot to be a single widower for some reason. Both are well worth reading/viewing.
How it is it any different when a child has a single parent? I get it, it is better for the child if they have a mom and a dad BUT so many children only have one mom and grow up great. So what if they have two mom’s but no dad’s – does not mean they won’t be great!