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When you live in the lifestyle that foster and adoptive families do, there are plenty of times when you feel anything but “normal.”
It’s hard to feel this way when you are documenting a child’s behavior, talking with social workers, running to therapists, birth family visits and all the other things that go along with this life style. Feeling stressed becomes the standard way of life.
I got to enjoy a rare moment of feeling normal as I watched Hannah perform in a dance recital on Saturday. I did not have to worry about her behavior backstage while the other groups were performing. I did not have to worry about her having a meltdown because of sensory issues, and I got to feel pride as my little girl took the stage and performed her routine.
It is the fact that the performance was anxiety free that made me notice my feelings. For “normal” parents the feeling of anxiousness or anxiety would alert them to something.
I compared my feelings to those of our friends sitting next to us. Their daughter has Asperger’s Syndrome and Sensory Integration issues. I watched their daughter since she was in the same group as Hannah. I knew what the fall out would be from the change in her routine and possible sensory overload.
After the performance we all decided to take the girls out for pizza to celebrate their performance. This was another change in routine and F was a little thrown by the change. She stated she wanted to go home and change first because she didn’t want to get her dress dirty. I had a t-shirt for Hannah so we offered it to F and she put it over her dress. The simple solution prevented what could have been a hard time. People who are not familiar with special needs children may have tried to reason with her, comfort her or various other interventions. Instead, she needed a simple solution.
We were able to enjoy our dinner and conversation in a relatively empty restaurant, which was a great help. The girls were not required to sit still, and instead were able to show off dances in the restaurant. We controlled the noise level and extraneous sensory issues.
The girls received a pleasant surprise when the manager of the Pizza Hut brought them a caramel apple pizza as a reward for their performance. We did not arrange this. She took it upon herself to reward our kids. It was greatly appreciated and enjoyed.
I cherish these “normal” moments when I am able to just enjoy my child and being a mom. They don’t come often enough, so they are treasures for sure.
Photo credit – Kelly L. Killian
