Death and Grief and Loss

There’s no real news on my MIL yet. She’s in hospice, and her two grandsons have flown up and are staying through today. She hasn’t eaten in days and her sysetm is shutting down. Hubby is handling it fairly well.

I’m a mess.

Death of a parent must be the most impactful thing a child ever goes through. I’m lucky that I don’t know what that feels like, and hope I don’t for many many years to come.

My fifty five year old best friend whose parents died a few years ago, cries to me:

“I hate being an orphan, I hate it”.

Although K has a birth mother, she never knew her bio-dad, and probably never will. We aren’t sure who is he. Sure someday DNA testing may sort out all the bio-relationships in the world, but for now, Daddy is daddy – her only dad. There is loss for her, a death of not knowing a bio-parent.

The feelings of loss and grief must have been there around birth mom too– to loose the woman who gave her birth. K is a happy well adjusted girl. Yet I know and understand she’ll feel grief throughout her life for a mother who just couldn’t be a mother to her.

As you can tell my writing is not going anywhere today. With death so imminent, so, close, in our lives, it clouds everything else. I’m not thinking about tomorrow, just about today and MIL and her life with us.

I am so grateful MIL moved closer to us this past summer.

We have loved having you close.

And,

Thank you Birth Mother for allowing me to know you so I can tell K about you and minimize the loss for her. Death, loss, grief, it is all intertwined in my mind today.

MIL has lived a long full life, but it still is ending too quickly. Loss for all of us, and K is loosing a grandmother that she saw every week.

There’s nothing else to say.

Enjoy your family, celebrate life. It’s too short.

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