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I cannot believe in the amount of time I have been blogging about foster care and adoption that I have not written about Dave Pelzer.
If his name is not familiar to you, then his books probably are. He is the author of bestsellers “A Child Called It” and “The Lost Boy” along with four other titles.
I had the privilege to hear Mr. Pelzer speak at the International Foster Care Organisation (no, that’s not spelled wrong) conference a few years ago. Initially he was supposed to speak the youth attending the conference, but attendance was lower than anticipated so we were all allowed to attend his speech.
What I heard from him was amazing. This was a man who suffered horrific abuse. Abuse so bad it was called the worst case of child abuse in California history. However, the message was clear and simple. You can choose to dwell on your abuse or you can get over it, move on and make great things of your life. He delivered this message clearly and bluntly and it was specifically addressed for the youth in the audience.
The scars of Mr. Pelzer’s abuse are far beyond emotional and are with him to this day. During his speech he drank water often and said that he will not eat in front of people because the way that he has to eat is seen as repulsive by most people. His throat and vocal chords are damaged from his mother forcing him to drink bleach.
Mr. Pelzer is an honest but humorous speaker. He has chosen to move past his abuse and become an incredible man, motivational speaker and an inspiration to many.
Even my son, who has chosen to stay stuck in his past, has truly enjoyed Mr. Pelzer’s books. They are among his favorites, even if he does not fully take the message to heart. The fact that someone suffered through horrendous abuse and went on to become someone famous fascinates my son. Through every move he has made with numerous placements in the past three years, he has taken these books with him to each one. If he is unable to have them where he is living, he asks me to hold on to them and then asks me to bring them when he is able to have them.
Whether you are an adult or teen, his books have a message that is straight forward and relevant. Before you allow your child or teen to read “A Child Called It” you may want to read it yourself. The descriptions of the abuse are graphic and sickening. You will need to decide whether or not your child can handle it.
To read the preface of Mr. Pelzer’s new book, “Moving Forward” click here.
Photo credit – Kelly L. Killian
I was just thinking today – my boys are readers and their counselor is putting together a reading list – starting with the BOX CAR CHILDREN. I was looking at books on myself and realized I had this book – My biological son read this when he was in rehab and realized what a wonderful mom I had been. How although he had loss from his father not being that dad he wanted – his life growing up was a good one.
I think my boys are way way too young to read this book – but they were abused – horribly abused by people at every turn in their life – even in foster/adoptive homes.
I feel my job is to protect them – and to help them heal the best that I can.
Does anyone have any comments for at what age his books are appropriate for an abused child to read… or maybe for me to read to them.