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The recent edition of Fostering Families magazine has several articles devoted to self-care for foster parents. I am glad to see a national magazine that is recognizing the importance of this.
A book I have been reading, “100 Days of Weight Loss” by Linda Spangle had a section that resonated with me on a personal level rather than a weight loss level. The section is on emotional safety and how to keep yourself “grounded” during stressful times. Boy, can I relate to this.
The section is written in regards to emotional eating, which many of us do, but it can apply to time when your emotions and stress level are high. In foster care and adoption, your emotions run high during your home study, while you’re waiting for a placement, waiting for finalization, and any time that you are dealing with behavioral or trauma issues from your child. Hearing about the abuse or neglect that your child has suffered can cause you to feel both angry and sad for your child.
The suggestions in the weight loss book can apply to our lives as well. After all, we’re talking about stressful and emotional situations, regardless of whether they are related to eating or raising a child. Stress is stress.
Here are the suggestions from the book:
Decide where you can create an “ahh” place for yourself. A corner of a room or even an overstuffed chair with a cozy blanket can do the trick.
Personalize this area with a variety of nurturing items such as plants, photos or stuffed animals.
Sit in the safe place you’ve created, then pull out your journal and describe your setting, including how you feel when you are in it.
So what is an “ahh” place? A place where you can go and feel calm. What you put in your “ahh” place or where you decide it is, is completely up to you. What makes you feel safe and calm?
It could be going someplace and meditating or doing yoga. Maybe you like to take long walks somewhere, or possibly like to be around flowers. Looking at old photos could be the thing that calms you or even doing a crossword puzzle or some kind of craft, taking a bubble bath, getting a manicure or pedicure, the possibilities are endless.
It doesn’t matter what the calming thing is, or where it is, the fact that you have someplace you can go, or something you can do is the important part.
With some of the issues that we deal with, you may need more than one “ahh” spot. Sometimes you can calm yourself within your home, but there are times when you need to leave and be away from the situation. Create more than one spot, or have a plan of places that you can go.
Taking care of yourself and your emotions is the most generous thing you can do for your kids.
Another thing to keep oneself grounded is proper nutrition. Lets face it less money in the economy gets us working more and being more stressed out to function with our families. We are finding less time for family meals. We want the quick fix from a restaurant drive thru. Omnitrition’s Omni IV with glucosamine provides an awesome stable help to a person’s fast food day. Liquid vitamins have been most effective for me. I have a nine year old, a eight year old, a seven year old, and an almost five year old. Also a two year old Puggle(dog), a four year old Ragdoll(cat), and 180 gallon salt water aquarium. Phew…. Omnitrition has helped with my nutrition and diet. I started with Omnitrition in 2006. Since taking the products I haven’t been sick. There are so many people in this company with positive changes in their lives. We have live listen in calls on Thursdays and Sundays.