What happens once you have been matched with a child and you begin the pre-placement visits, or the child moves into your home? What do you do with this child? How do you know what they like or don’t like? What if the child won’t talk? Here are some activities that you can do together that also promote bonding and attachment.

Board games – We have loads of board games in our house. Sorry, Monopoly, Scrabble, Candy Land, Battleship, and tons of others. Having a wide variety of games available lets your child make a choice of what to play. If you know that your child has a favorite “something” you can build on that. With Kory, we knew he loved Scooby Doo and he was four years old so not reading yet. We chose to take a Scooby Doo memory game along. This gave us something to do together and allowed him to get excited about Scooby.

Puzzles – Winters in Wisconsin get quite cold, and some days you really don’t want to be outside. We do a lot of puzzles together. A child from about age three or four and up can help with puzzles, even if it’s a larger one. It also gives the child a sense of pride and belonging when the child can be part of something the whole family is doing. Some kids may find it easier to talk when they’re not having to make eye contact right away; When it’s not a “formal” discussion situation.

Cooking or baking – People learn in all kinds of different ways and build memories in different ways as well. Do you have memories of fresh baked bread at your grandma’s house, or making cookies with your mother? Build those same memories with your new child. My kids are very scent oriented. Sammy sniffs all his food before he eats it, and can tell you the scent of perfume I am wearing. Your child may always remember the smell of chocolate chip cookies and think of time spent with you.

Finger games – Some kids that come into foster care and adoption don’t want to be touched. Kids who come from a background of neglect have a hard time with this since they are not used to touch. Playing “finger games” like The Itsy Bitsy Spider, or This Little Piggy can allow you to touch your child in a non-threatening way. This book can give you some ideas.

Read – Let your child hear you read to him. Visit the library and pick out books together. This will give you a chance to find out what things your child is interested in. You can build a tradition of reading a bed time story, or if the child is old enough, have him read to you. This gives the child an opportunity to “show off” and for you to give praise.

Play Doh – We all know the smell of Play Doh. As kids we loved to get our hands in there and squish it around. Just as the cooking or baking helps to build scent memories, Play Doh can do that as well as allowing kids the act of touch and creativity. This may also allow your child to talk about things like favorite colors, making you your favorite “food”, or sculpting a favorite animal.

These are just some ideas to get you started. I hope it sparks other ideas for your family.

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Photo credit and baking recipes