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Monday we received news that Sammy will be leaving his current placement in a few weeks. There are safety issues involved that make this move necessary. I do not blame his foster parents at all, and I am actually rather impressed that they have been able to deal with these issues for this long.
Moving is a normal part of Sammy’s life. During a car ride today while I was thinking about this blog, I realized that there is only about a four year period of Sammy’s life that has been stable as far as knowing where he is going to live.
Sammy joined our home in March of 1999. He remained in our home until September, 2003.
Prior to joining our family, Sammy endured many moves within his birth family, moving from home to home with his birth mother, then going between his birth parents and sometimes his birth grandparents. When he was almost three he entered the foster care system and he moved pretty regularly until joining our home.
His next move came when we were going through our abuse investigation. He moved to my cousin’s house in September and returned to our home in December. It wasn’t very long before the continual moves began again. In June, 2004, Sammy went through a psychiatric hospitalization for nine days. It was just a few months later when we began law enforcement involvement. Sammy is now on his thirteenth placement or move since November 2004.
Many of these moves were temporary. He was removed during periods where his behavior was escalating and it was unsafe for us to have him remain in our home. Other moves have been to residential treatment centers and then to treatment foster homes.
Every move is hard on a child and becomes another reason for them to protect their hearts and not let anyone love them. In most cases we encourage parents to avoid moving their child if at all possible.
However, when it comes to issues of safety that need must come first. Those are the issues we face with Sammy. His safety, as well as the safety of others in the home, is the primary concerns.
At this point we are not sure where Sammy will be going or what type of living environment he will be in. The agency is searching for another foster home, but his needs are serious and it will not be an easy placement. It is likely that we will be looking at some type of residential placement again.
This next move will likely come around the middle of March, which is significant. Sammy joined our family March 20, 1999. He moved to his first treatment foster home March 23, 2007. I hope this will not become a regular thing for him, but we will do what we have to do.
It is very hard to know that you are doing the best thing for your child and that means your child is not living at home and likely will continue to move on a regular basis.
I know there must be mixed emotions during these types of moves.
Sad–that your child will be hurt again by the move.
Happy and Hopeful–that your child might receive much needed help and make some type of breakthrough
Relief–that your child will not be in your home where your safety and the safety of the other children under your roof would be in jeopardy.
I will be praying for you and Sammy both the month of March.
Kim