Hannah is doing much better today, and was very excited to go visit Sammy. We went to the treatment foster home that he is in, which was our first visit since his placement on Friday.



This placement will test some of the issues that are very difficult for him. For starters, there is a single mother as the care giver. He has always had difficulty with women as authority figures, and his biggest conflicts are with me when I hold him accountable. The other thing that’s going to be interesting is that there are 3 other boys in the house. Peer relationships are very difficult for him.

One of the boys is 17, but functions at the level of a 7 year old. Sammy is very excited about being with this boy, which is not surprising. He is very compassionate to those he views as younger, or more susceptible than he is. Sammy can be a very bossy and controlling child, which does not sit well with his peers. Sammy will learn to navigate two very difficult relationships for him.

The one thing that has been surprising to us over the last few months, is that Sammy is not trying to hide his temper anymore. The foster mother has already seen him display his temper, and he just arrived on Friday. He is working on containing it though. He has not destroyed anything during his bursts.

We have plans to bring Sammy home the next two weekends. My husband’s birthday is on Friday, and Easter is the following Sunday. These are both important family events for us. Normally, he would not be allowed to come home this early in the placement, but when I spoke with the wrap around worker, I explained that by excluding him from these events, it would cause resentment, and pull our family farther apart.

The foster mother is very willing to work with us, and play it by ear.

Tomorrow Sammy starts school in yet another school district. This will be his fourth different school in less than 18 months, not counting schooling in juvenile detention. In some ways his life as a foster child continues, but he has the stability of a “base” family that he never had while he was in foster care.

It has been a very emotional weekend. At times with Hannah, we felt like a “normal” family. We are anything but. The location and members of our family change on a regular basis.

Some days, I think normal can be boring.