I first met Stephen Hayes about a year and a half ago. We were looking at adopting a child who was coming from a disruption (not Hannah) and my friend, Elaine, referred me to him. After our initial phone conversation, I checked out the website of his law firm and found that Stephen Hayes had received the Angels in Adoption award in 2005.
When I first met Steve, we spent a little bit of time talking about the potential adoption, and what the procedures were. He asked us some questions about our background with kids and did we know what we might be getting with this child. I explained all my work with attachment disorder and my desire for some foster care reform. We spent the next hour talking about adoption, disruptions, problems with adopting older children, and various other topics.
I was very pleasantly surprised by his knowledge on attachment and how much he works to educate parents. One of his notable cases was fighting to keep a 5 year old girl with her foster parents. The little girl had been with the foster parents since birth, but her birth mother had met all her conditions so the court was going to rule that the little girl be returned to the birth mom. Steve argued, and won, that the child had never lived with her birth mom, had very little idea who she was, and would be very emotionally damaged by returning her at this point.
The part Steve does not like about his job is disruptions. When we spoke he was doing almost as many disruptions as he was adoptions. That is a very sad statistic. However, he works hard to get counseling for families and try as much as possible to preserve the placement. He was quite disappointed at the lack of education and preparation given to new parents adopting older children.
So, how do you become and angel in adoption? A member of Congress nominates someone in their state who has worked to make a difference in the life of adopted children. This means that you have to be fairly high profile. Trust me; it’s not easy to get the attention of members of Congress. Believe me. I’ve tried.
There are angels nominated from each state, and then there are national winners. The list of national winners is quite impressive. Stephen & Mary Beth Curtis Chapman, First Lady Laura Bush, Bruce Willis and Victoria Rowell are among them.
If you know someone who you feel should be nominated, contact the Congress member for that person’s area. For further information, see the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute website.
Could you explain “disruptions” for us newbies to the topic?