Comments on: Abuse survivors as adoptive parents

By: 3+4more

3+4more — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 01:05:07 +0000

Are there “safe” ways to find out if an agency or program you are interested in working with will work with you if you are a survivor, and/or are there “rights” that survivor has on his/her side to proceed with an adoption even if the agency is skeptical?

By: Deb Donatti

Deb Donatti — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 03:58:04 +0000

It is interesting to me how many of us are abuse survivors, I am also one myself. I think many of us who have been able to rise above our past situation, have gone on to try to help children in some way.
Kelly, thank you for sharing your story, you are indeed an amazing survivor!

By: NCOZADD@aol.com

NCOZADD@aol.com — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 01:51:58 +0000

{{{{Kelly}}}} Thank you for your thoughtul and inspiring post. You have a terrific way with words! You are to be commended for your selflessness.

I am an abuse survivor also. Would you be willing to address some of the things you did to heal, and how that has impacted your willingness and ability to try and help heal other wounded children?

By: Julia Fuller

Julia Fuller — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 00:52:22 +0000

Kelly, this should be a wake up call to all parents to consider their babysitters very carefully. If your child doesn’t like a particular babysitter, consider changing. My nephew had similar interactions with an older stepbrother who babysat for him. My cousins were repeatedly raped by our step-grandfather during babysitting. Even if you think it is a person you know, look to your child for ques. They can’t always tell you what is going on. Thanks for sharing your story.

By: John

John — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 00:29:26 +0000

Kelly, I really hope both you and Faith will continue to talk about what you did in childhood to help get through the memories and emotions. What worked, what did adults do that helped you and what do you wish adults would have done. Those of us without your background raise our kids who have been abused the best we can. We don’t have your background, you are both in a unique position to help the rest of us. Thanks for a great post. John

By: Kelly

Kelly — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 17:44:12 +0000

Thanks everyone. Really, it is not hard for me to talk about this. The trauma is over, and the only way I CAN help someone is to talk about it.

I wouldn't ever want to go through it again, but if something good can come from it, then great.

Erin- If you are considering fostering, chances are highly likely that you will get a child who has been sexually abused. The last statistic I saw said that 85% of the kids in foster care have been sexually abused, whether it was before they came into care, or yes, even while they are in care.

By: AdoptionBlogs Editor

AdoptionBlogs Editor — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 17:21:24 +0000

Kelly, all I can do is thank you for posting your story with such candid honesty. I can’t imagine it was easy but I’m sure your honesty will help many others. Thank you.

By: erin_d_a

erin_d_a — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 16:17:52 +0000

wow.

I too am an abuse surviver. Our stories sound similar, yet different.

When we talk about fostering a child, I know that I cannot handle a child that has been sexually abused because I'm not sure I am emotionally ready to tackle that situation. Maybe someday.

By: nancyb

nancyb — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 15:10:56 +0000

Thanks for sharing, Kelly. You are an awesome Mom!!! Your honesty can help those of us without such experience to better relate to our hurting kids.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 15:08:06 +0000

Thanks Faith, and thanks for pointing out the typo. YIKES!!