Continued from Abuse allegations.

So, you’ve found yourself on the receiving end of an abuse investigation. Before I went through an investigation myself, I automatically assumed that people who were accused of abuse were guilty. These days I know more parents who have been investigated than haven’t been.

If you find yourself in an investigation, keep a level head. It will be one of the most emotionally devastating days of your life, but be prepared.

• Call your attorney. If you have used an adoption attorney during the process, they should have knowledge of special needs children, and have probably come up against investigations before. BE SURE to use an attorney who has experience in investigations.

• Do not talk to an investigator without a witness present. Whether it’s another family member, an attorney, your partner, a neighbor or friend. Have a third set of ears listening to the conversation. You will be emotional and can not rely on your memory during this time.

• Ask to audio tape or video tape the meeting. This will give you a full, and factual, account of what was said.

• Follow up any meetings with a letter. Give the date and time of the meeting, and who was involved, then list “this is what I heard you say”, along with a recap of your impressions of the meeting.

• Have any documentation that you may need handy. If you have been keeping a file on your child with lists of medications, doctors’ appointments, diagnosis, or history of false allegations, keep it in a place where you can easily get to it.

• Call your regular social worker. Even if your adoption has been finalized. A person with a knowledgeable history of your child will be very helpful.

• Have the investigator speak with any therapist that you are working with. A good therapist will be able to explain the complexities of parenting a special needs child.

• Be honest. Trying to hide things will only come back to haunt you. If you have been angry and spanked or slapped your child, admit this. It may sound backward, but hidden information will come out. Your child may be all too happy to tell the investigator what you did.

• Do not sound defensive. You know what you are doing is to help your child. Just because it is not what you do with an emotionally healthy child, does not mean it is wrong.

• You have the right to review the investigation documents. Your attorney can help you with this. Note anything that you do not agree with, and make notes with the correct information.

• If your child receives any injuries during the investigation, make sure to note how they happened, and take photographs if possible.

This is a hard thing to go through. You have to prove that you did NOT do something. Keep your wits about you, and try not to panic. You will get through this.