There are days when you get a glimpse into the bright side of our kids and you know that what you are doing makes a difference. I had one of those days with Sammy recently. Following is a letter he sent home.

Dear Mom, Dad, Hannah

I really miss you. I am trying really hard to improve on changing my attitude. It has been going very well. I just wanted to write to you because I am feeling depressed with all the stuff happening to me and me being in (placement name) and all. I can’t believe you have stayed with me through all this ruckus. In the Bible Ephesians Chapter 6 10-19 it talks about all the armor of God. The sword of the spirit, helmet of salvation, breastplate of righteousness, belt of truth. I pray every night for my family to do everything they do safely. I love you. I just keep thinking about Caleb & how big he is getting.

Love Sam
P.S. I miss you again.
P.S.S. I love you Hannah
P.S. for that PSS Behave be nice to mom.

I was blown away by this for several reasons. First is that this letter takes up a full page handwritten. Sammy hates writing. Usually if we get a letter it is a couple of sentences. A letter of this length is unheard of.

Second, and the biggest thing to me is that his sentence, “I can’t believe you have stayed with me through all this ruckus.” Is the closest thing we have ever gotten to any sort of an apology for everything that we have been through with him. He didn’t apologize for busted windows, holes in walls, items stolen or any of the other things. No apologies at the time it happened, shortly after, or even years after. In Sammy’s first placement the social worker told him that a condition of his release was that he write us an apology and take ownership for all the things he did. He was released with the apology never mentioned again.

Third is that Sammy quoted scripture. We are a faithful family. We don’t just go to church, but we are active in our church and we try hard to live our faith, not just attend on Sundays. Sammy has been a part of this and certain parts of faith have stuck with him and made an impression on him, but he has never before quoted scripture. The facility he is at is a Christian based center, so I know that this topic probably came up in bible study, or possibly therapy, but the fact that he remembered it and put it in the letter is significant.

I am happy to have received this letter and will tuck it away for days when I am extremely frustrated with him, and I know they are coming. You see, we’ve been down this road before. We have had spots where Sammy did well for a while but dropped off again after a period. I can’t allow myself to get my hopes up because there is probably a bomb coming later on, but for now I’ll take this bright spot in my son’s life.

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