You have the choice of using a private agency to do your home study, or using the state agency that is assigned by the program. Some state agencies contract with private agencies to do their home studies. Be sure you ask about this when you have your informational meeting.

There are definite pros and cons to each type of agency. One of the largest differences is money. Private agencies charge a fee for the home study. State agencies generally do not charge any fees, or the fees are covered under the non-recurring expenses section of adoption fees.

Private... more

Over 200 children of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints have been returned to their mothers. This still leaves over 200 children in foster care.

The Texas Supreme Court declared that the removal of the children was unjustified since the caller was not a child at the ranch.

I have read many complaints saying that this group is being persecuted because “mainstream Christians” do not agree with the religious beliefs of the FLDS group. Personally, that’s not my issue. The fact that young girls were being forced into marriages... more

One thing are kids are very good at is conning and manipulating otherwise reasonably intelligent adults. They have to be, this is how they have survived. If they didn’t have these skills, they could be dead, or might not have been adopted. Our kids survived by being cute and smart.

There is a politically incorrect but true statement:

“The dumb ugly ones don’t make it.”

This statement is not meant to demean children, but instead it refers to kids being smart enough to figure out how to get what they need. One day batting... more

There is a news story that left me with my jaw on the floor this morning. This story out of Florida offends me on so many different levels.

A five year old boy was “voted” out of his classroom by his classmates in the style of Survivor members voting each other off the island. This was the teacher’s idea. She said it was her way of correcting the child.

This young boy had to listen to each of his classmates say what they did not like about him, and a 14 – 2 “vote” ejected him from the classroom.

In... more

A fantastic report by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute is bringing awareness to some of the issues involved in transracial adoption and the need for parent education.

My friend, Elaine, has a very multi-cultural family and I love how this family works together and does not see the “differences” in each other. They are simply family.

I’m all for transracial adoption, don’t get me wrong. ... more

Back in Feburary I blogged about Maine’s plans to cut foster care and adoption stipends. The cuts go into effect on July 1, 2008.

These cuts will hit families much harder right now when everyone is struggling to make ends meet. Now parents of kids with special needs will likely have expenses increasing, while their incoming is decreasing. “Normal” parents are trying to make it with their income remaining stable. How are special needs parents going to make it with... more

Our kids are lucky. I know you’re staring at your computer screen right now wondering what I have been drinking or smoking in order to make such a statement, but it really is true.

While our kids have been through horrific things, and things that no child should ever go through, the fact is that for our kids there are resources.

Let me back up a little bit and explain my position. It started this morning as I was sitting in church. Our pastor tackled the tough subject of war and soldiers laying down their lives for us. It is a hard subject to talk... more

My husband and I had what could be qualified as a date tonight. It’s been a long time since it has happened, so I’m not quite sure.

I had been working all day, really all week, helping some friends move their business. It is extremely physical work and I am simply exhausted. I had to do my weekly duties at church and then I was going to go to Wal-Mart and go home to crash on the couch. As I was driving to church, I drove past Hannah’s best friend’s house and remembered that Hannah was supposed to be at a birthday swim party tonight.

After frantic... more

I have blogged, fairly openly, about the fact that I was physically, emotionally and sexually abused. I am working on these issues and am exploring having EMDR done to help with some of my anxieties. While talking with my counselor, she recommended the book, "The Four Agreements" by don Miguel Ruiz.

I got it in an audio version and have been listening to it on my MP3 player when I am walking. It is great uninterrupted time when I don’t have to think about anything... more

I had the ability to have a young boy in my home for the weekend. It was truly a pleasure to have him here, and I usually don’t say that about “respite” kids, but he is no ordinary respite kid.

This young man is in a difficult situation, and on the attachment and behavior spectrum, he’s quite mild to me. However, to his parents his issues are big.

To some parents the issues we are going through with Hannah right now are minor, but they trip my PTSD triggers from issues with Sammy that were much larger. Some parents might have been able to keep... more