One of the foster moms on the adoption.com forum is transitioning her foster son to a placement with a biological family member.

Many people think that as a foster parent you don’t get attached to your foster children. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Foster parents love their children, no matter how long they are in their home. There are children that you may not have as strong of attachment to because of behavioral issues, but there are still emotions when a child leaves.

The... more

When you live in the lifestyle that foster and adoptive families do, there are plenty of times when you feel anything but “normal.”

It’s hard to feel this way when you are documenting a child’s behavior, talking with social workers, running to therapists, birth family visits and all the other things that go along with this life style. Feeling stressed becomes the standard way of life.

I got to enjoy a rare moment of feeling normal as I watched Hannah perform in a dance recital on Saturday. I did not have to worry about her behavior backstage while... more

In a week we will be leaving for Massachusetts to attend the ATN conference. I am excited. This is the third year we have done this conference and it has been wonderful every time.

If you haven’t signed up to attend, why not?

What makes the ATN conference different from other conferences is that it is focused on helping parents who are living with traumatized children. Therapists and social workers can benefit as well, but parents are the ones who benefit the most.

Aside from the sessions,... more

As you know, the Midwest has been ravaged by thunderstorms and flooding for almost two weeks now. It has been a nightmare for all of us, although we have fared better than most.

The things that are precious to me were not affected, or so I thought. A couple of years ago we were trying to sell our house and we packed up things that we did not need and moved them to a shed. Among them were some photos and scrapbooks. I thought they were safe from the storms because they were up high, but the box had tipped over. My heart nearly broke in two when I walked... more

There is a judge in South Texas that needs a lesson on child rearing, foster parenting, and being a judge.

I know that things in Texas are different. I lived there for seven years. Respecting your elders is an absolute must and not calling an adult “sir” or “ma’am” is simply not acceptable in the eyes of parents. I don’t disagree with that at all. It is a regional thing though. When I taught my kids to use “sir” and “ma’am” I was accused of running a boot camp in my home, but I don’t think teaching children respect is abusive.

However, the judge Cameron County... more

This is an interesting discussion on the adoption.com board, and there are some great answers.

The full question is:

Let's assume YOU made the rules, how long would you give biological parents to COMPLETE their case plan goals before you sent the case to TPR?

I know there can be all kinds of extenuating circumstances, but let's assume there are no insurmountable obstacles preventing the bios from completing... more

This afternoon I was taking a break after mowing the several acres that is our yard. I was flipping through channels and landed on a show on Discovery Health Network called “Adoption Stories.” Obviously this caught my attention.

This is the first episode I have seen, so my opinions are based on this episode alone.

The episode focused on one family. This is the description listed on the Discovery Health Network website.

The Wengrenowitz's... more

The Annie E. Casey Foundation has released a report that indicates many foster children are living in less than ideal conditions and in poverty stricken conditions.

The top five states that have their foster children living above the poverty level are:

• Utah • North Dakota • Idaho • Wyoming • South Dakota

The worst states fall on the East coast, where the ... more

For most people, school is out or will be shortly. What do you do now that the kids are home all day?

For the first few weeks, most kids are happy to run, jump and play, but soon the cries of “I’m bored” kick in. With money being tight for everyone right now family vacations, summer camps and “field trips” will probably be difficult for most families.

The first thing I recommend is not the first thing that most people think of, but helps our kids retain what they have learned in school, in addition to helping to keep some structure in place. Continue... more

Quite often parents ask “How do you know when your child is attached?” There is no cut and dry answer for this. There are too many variables at play. How old is the child, what type of attachment issues does the child have (anxious, ambivalent, confused) how severe is the attachment disorder and so on.

Both Sammy and Hannah are attached, but in very different ways, and that’s not to say that we don’t have attachment and trauma issues come up at various times.

I’ll start with Sammy since his attachment doesn’t always look like attachment. Sammy loves... more