It is not unusual for children who have been through trauma to have mixed up memories of the trauma. I have seen and heard of many cases where a foster or traumatized child has accused the current parents of something that the birth parent did to them.

These are young children who have been through horrible things. Hannah used to tell me stories about what her biological aunt did to her. When I spoke with her previous mom, I discovered that these are the things that he her birth mother did to her. They happened, but her memories are mixed up as to who the... more

When adopting an older child chances are highly likely that your child remembers members of the birth family and may want to have ongoing contact with the birth family. Likewise, birth family members may want to continue contact with your child.

This can be a threatening option, or it can be a great way for you to learn about your child’s early life. Contact can range from siblings to grandparents or even birth parents.

The first thing is to assess the appropriateness of the various family members in your child’s life. Some of this may have already been determined... more

When a new child enters your home, it may be confusing as to what the child should call you. Do you want to start out with Mom and Dad right away? Does it make a difference if the child is a foster child?

There are many differing opinions on this. When Sammy first joined our family he called us by our first names. He didn’t think of us as Mom and Dad. He’d been through several of those already. The day/night he changed was when my cousin came over to play with him. My uncle is only 4 years older than I am so his kids are close the same ages as my kids. As... more

Our kids may not always have the ethnic background that we do, whether by race or family make up. Some of us are parenting in inter racial families and some of us are parenting trans culturally and others are parenting children who may physically look like us but have children with different ethnic origins than we do.

We can celebrate our child’s culture whether it’s a different state or a different country and it doesn’t have to be difficult or make the child feel different.

My children look like they could be our birth children, but our ethnic make-up... more

I have been following this story for several days now, and each article that comes out gives more disgusting details.

One of the leaders of the Illinois Council on Adoptable Children is under investigation for child abuse against three girls in her home. The initial report stated that Patricia Cooper permitted her biological son to sexually assault the girls over an eight year period. The son, Christopher Cooper is now being held in jail without bond and is being charged... more

Being a Wisconsin native, I have a love/hate relationship with the state of Illinois, but this latest article has me questioning the mentality of the elected officials.

A news story came out announcing budget cuts for the state that will harm the most at risk children. The government could not pass a balanced budget, so government programs are being cut. Cuts include 179 jobs in the Department of Children Family Services and another 73 jobs in the Department... more

There was a question on one of the adoption forums and I thought it was a great question that should be addressed.

What will prevent you from being accepted as a foster parent? While I can’t give you distinct answers on that, I can tell you some things that many people are concerned about that won’t automatically have your application turned down. They may require further explanation, but they are not an automatic rejection.

An abusive childhood – I have talked about my own childhood in various blogs. I was physically abused by my... more

What is a Guardian Ad Litem? Simply put, this is an attorney for your child. You generally do not have any input into who the Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) is.

The GAL is assigned by the court to look out for the best interests of your child. Your child has been assigned an attorney to be sure that the child’s needs are being met, that your child is in a placement that is in the best interest, that paperwork and things like requesting a termination of parental rights are done in a timely manner and so on.

You may not always meet your child’s GAL or speak with the GAL.... more

Safe Haven laws are meant to allow a mother to leave her child with a responsible party and allow the child to be placed for adoption. The main purpose of the law is to prevent mothers who are afraid of coming forward from potentially killing their babies. There are mothers who are afraid to admit to being pregnant and the Safe Haven laws give them an option to allow their child to live, rather than hiding.

Nebraska’s new law takes things quite a bit further. It allows for the mother to surrender a child up the age of 19. Most states set the limit at anywhere... more

The following article has nothing to do with foster care or adoption, that I know of, except that I could easily see this happening in my house.

In this story out of Florida a 15 year old boy threatened his mother with a knife and hit his older brother with a stick of sugar cane after changes were made to his privileges on the home computer. His mother called the police and he was charged with aggravated assault and battery.

Oh, this scene has played out in my home in various forms and... more