Happy Adoption Day!

November 24th, 2012

fab 5 2012On November 17, we celebrated National Adoption Day.  In our home, it's the day in which we celebrate the adoption of all 5 of our children.  Some years it's a big party, this year, it was a little toned down.  It was a busy week in our household and I was on my second week of being pretty darn sick.  The kids did not care. For us, Adoption Day is also about awareness.  We celebrated through the week as I went to both The Captain's and Tinker's classes to share a book and a little chat about adoption.  This year's book was, I Wished for You.  This is a heartwarming story about Barley Bear who looks a little different from his… [more]

No More Consequences (aka THINKING) – Part 1

February 28th, 2012

I have an internal dilemma:  Is it that I am a lazy mom or is it that I am systematic and a believer in systems?  It's likely a bit of both.  Whatever the root cause, I am struggling to change parenting systems. Our  teen daughters were raised with a combination of time-outs and natural consequences.  Okay, sometimes the consequences weren't so "natural."  But that was the system and it worked (for them).  It worked so well that when we had our home-study updated a few years back, the social worker asked them, "Do you have rules in the house?'  Oh, yes, they assured her there are rules.  "Well, what happens when you break the rules?"  They looked at each.  They looked at me.  They thought.  Dead silence. Tick, tick, tick.  Finally, one… [more]

Raising a Traumatized Child

November 14th, 2011

bookEighteen years ago, when I went to my first adoption seminar, so many things came to mind: meeting "my" child for the first time, holding him or her in my arms, providing a safe home, giving all the love I had to heal any wounds the child might have. What I never considered was how the adoption of a traumatized child would affect me. For years I had imagined my prince carrying me off into an idyllic world where I would bear children perfect and happy. But then, at 37, why was I still single? Ah, because I was too overweight or too weird or too ugly. As it turns out, no. When I took the hand of my little 3-year-old Abel for the first… [more]

When I Was Her Age

November 1st, 2011

futureBy the time I was ten I was doing my own laundry, caring for an aged and ill grandmother who lived with us, and I did my homework without assistance or even prompting. She's not going to be that way. By the time I was my daughter's age I was a grade level ahead of where she is now, enrolled in the honors courses, and was an avid reader. She's not going to be that way. As I grew I continued to shine academically, received accolades for my abilities as a writer, and was easily mistaken for being older than my chronological age based on my maturity. She's not going to be that way either. And that's just fine with me. Growing up as a child of trauma… [more]


May 29th, 2011
Posted By: on Foster Adoption

1152270_office_4Orange Shoe Guy (OSG) and I wrote a book. It is a children's book and (though I am biased) I have to admit, it is good. OSG is in the unique position of being an African-American child in a Caucasian family and society. This does not bother him but brings a lot of questions. Everyone wants to know his story. We do not tell it all of the time. We let him chose. He chose to write this children's book. He chose to answer people's questions in this venue. I love it. The book is called "Black." It is written from his prospective, which is rare amongst children's books. There are very few written from a boy's perspective and dealing with adoption the… [more]

Introducing Our Photo Listing Widget

April 21st, 2011

photo_filmI've had the pleasure of working with the Adoption.com Photo Listing for 6 years.  When others ask what I do, most have never heard of an adoption photo listing.  I explain there are thousands of children in the United States in foster care who need adoptive families.  Finding families for children who cannot safely return to their birth parents requires extensive recruitment efforts by social service agencies.  With the capacity to reach millions, agencies have turned to the Internet to connect with potential adoptive families by featuring photos, descriptions and video footage, along with information about the adoption process.  Photo listing also serves a secondary purpose to educate the public about children in foster care waiting for a family to call their… [more]

The Scarf Project

October 30th, 2008
Posted By: on Foster Adoption

This blog is not to “toot my own horn,” but instead to get you thinking about other ways that you can help children. I have talked about my friend, Bonnie, in other blogs. She is a former foster parent, a fellow Lay Academy classmate and is the director of a homeless shelter for women and children. Bonnie and I have shared many stories and tears about our kids and about the moms that we have dealt with both through foster care and now through her work at the shelter. Bonnie has worked in various aspects of social services through the years. She is a dedicated and passionate woman about her work. When you talk with her, you can see and feel the love she has for the… [more]

Dave Pelzer

October 29th, 2008
Posted By: on Foster Adoption
Categories: Books

I cannot believe in the amount of time I have been blogging about foster care and adoption that I have not written about Dave Pelzer. If his name is not familiar to you, then his books probably are. He is the author of bestsellers “A Child Called It” and “The Lost Boy" along with four other titles. I had the privilege to hear Mr. Pelzer speak at the International Foster Care Organisation (no, that’s not spelled wrong) conference a few years ago. Initially he was supposed to speak the youth attending the conference, but attendance was lower than anticipated so we were all allowed to attend his speech. What I heard from him was amazing. This was a man who suffered horrific… [more]

Help for Foster Children on Halloween

October 21st, 2008
Posted By: on Foster Adoption

Who doesn’t like to get chocolate in their treat bag while out trick-or-treating? The Wendy’s food chain is helping foster children this Halloween, while giving kids a chocolaty treat. You can purchase coupons at your local Wendy’s restaurant for $1 and receive a booklet of certificates for a free Jr. Frosty to give out at Halloween. The money raised from these sales goes to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. The foundation works to raise awareness for adoption from foster care and to help children find homes. This coupon program is one of the ways that they do this. Dave Thomas, the found of Wendy’s, was adopted himself and developed the foundation to further the awareness of adoption in general… [more]

Every Child Matters

September 22nd, 2008
Posted By: on Foster Adoption

I don’t remember how I wound up on this website, but a few weeks ago I stumbled across a website for Every Child Matters. Every Child Matters is a bi-partisan group trying to get political reform for kids. Since we are in an election year, the “theme” is “I’m Voting for Kids.” The website is extensive in the information that it offers and can make you think twice about what your state is doing for children. I ordered a promotional packet that had great information in it and things that I will certainly be sharing with many people. Included in the packet were bumper stickers, cards highlighting the issues they are fighting for, posters, and two very important and enlightening reports… [more]