Getting Started

So you've read about National Adoption Month some place or you've seen a child featured on a local broadcast that talks about children in need of homes in the US Foster Care system and you're wanting to learn more. Depending on where you are in the education process, you may or may not know what the next steps are. Let's assume, for a minute, you're brand new and you're looking for guidance or advice on what the first steps are when deciding to move forward, that's easy enough, right? First, you'll want to find out how your state agency for children's issues is operated. Are you in a privatized state? Are all matters related to foster care or adopting from foster care handled through… [more]

There was a question on one of the forums asking if you have to be religious to adopt. The simple answer is no. When workers meet with and interview parents, they ask many questions about your family, your home, your marriage, and yes, about religion. The question is not to screen out parents who are not “religious” but instead to gather an idea about what your life is like, the things that are important to you, what the child can expect and what activities your child might be involved in. For some children their faith is something that is very important to them. While reading profiles on children in the Fostering Families magazine, there was a teen girl who specifically said that she wanted a… [more]

There was a question on one of the adoption forums and I thought it was a great question that should be addressed. What will prevent you from being accepted as a foster parent? While I can’t give you distinct answers on that, I can tell you some things that many people are concerned about that won’t automatically have your application turned down. They may require further explanation, but they are not an automatic rejection. An abusive childhood – I have talked about my own childhood in various blogs. I was physically abused by my mother until I was 10, emotionally abused by her until I was 35. I was sexually abused by two different men before I was 10. None of these things kept… [more]

I promised to keep you updated on how our home study and adoption of Hannah is going. We are in the home stretch. Our home study is completed and approved. We are now in the adoption subsidy process. This is the point where an adoption subsidy is agreed upon. In a normal circumstance this would have been an ongoing process with the paperwork just needing to be signed, but our case is not normal. In a normal dissolved adoption, the adoption subsidy does not transfer to the new adoptive parents, but Hannah’s state of birth is actually willing to work with us. I credit this to Hannah’s previous mom. I wouldn’t have even tried to get this, because I know this usually… [more]

When you are doing your home study for the first time it can be very stressful because you don’t know what to expect. Most of us spend more time worrying about how clean our house is (I sure did) than making sure we have everything we need. If you want to speed up your home study process, having all your documents together when your worker arrives will help to expedite the process, and may even answer many of the typical first visit questions, and allow you to get onto the “meatier” questions earlier on, therefore saving you another visit. So what documents do you need to have ready? Marriage license – if applicable Divorce decree from any previous marriage(s) – if applicable Pet vaccinations – if applicable Birth or adoption certificates… [more]

To quote the great philosopher, Tom Petty: “The waiting is the hardest part Every day you see one more card You take it on faith, you take it to the heart The waiting is the hardest part.” You have all this time to fill and nothing to do with it, but there are plenty of things you can do to help you become more prepared for the child or children that will enter your home. Talk with other adoptive parents Find out what issues they deal with, what parenting methods they use, what works and doesn’t work. Offer to do respite for them, or to be a mentor for their child. If you tell the families that you are going through the adoption process, they are usually more than willing to share their… [more]

We are at the point of the home study that drives most families crazy – waiting. We started the process back in March. We did our initial interview, filled out the application, signed all the consent forms for our records to be given to the agency, and all the other paperwork that needs to be done. Hannah has had her health check done, mine has been completed, and I have submitted my autobiography. My husband has a few things to finish yet. The big hold up has to do with Sammy. If you have an adolescent child in your home who has been involved with law enforcement, the agency will have to obtain records from the social services department that has or is monitoring your child… [more]

You have the choice of using a private agency to do your home study, or using the state agency that is assigned by the program. Some state agencies contract with private agencies to do their home studies. Be sure you ask about this when you have your informational meeting. There are definite pros and cons to each type of agency. One of the largest differences is money. Private agencies charge a fee for the home study. State agencies generally do not charge any fees, or the fees are covered under the non-recurring expenses section of adoption fees. Private agencies- If you choose to use a private agency for your home study, be sure that the agency is approved by the state. You don’t want to pay for the home… [more]

We had our meeting with the adoption social worker this morning to start our home study. We have already submitted the stacks of paperwork so now is the “interview” process. This is when the worker comes out to talk to you and your spouse (if applicable). Because we have been through this several times before, we were prepared for the questions and nothing surprised us, but it can surprise many people when it starts. I’ll give you a recap of what we discussed so you will have an idea of what to expect when it’s your turn. What lead you to adoption – Was it infertility issues? Have you always wanted to adopt? Why an older child or special needs child? How… [more]

Today I have been cleaning because the adoption worker is coming out tomorrow. Now I have been through enough of these to know that the worker is not coming to do a white glove inspection, but my house looks like the inside has been hit by a tornado. We haven’t been home much in the past week, and when I was I was doing something that made a mess, like baking and decorating cakes. The worker is not coming in to check for dust bunnies, or if all the laundry is folded and hung up properly, but rather to do things like safety checks. Are chemicals out of the reach of small children? Do you have outlet covers in place if you have infants?… [more]