Adoption Awareness

I was adopted at age 18 months by my foster parents. They had received me as a foster child at age 4 months and in the 1970's, foster parents weren't encouraged to adopt the children they cared for so this was an anomaly at that time. My parents continued to take foster children my entire time growing up at home and my Mom is still a foster parent today (she has been for 37 years).  I am the only child they adopted. They told me that once they got to keep me, it was easier to let go when it was time for other children to move on or return home. I always wanted to adopt a child to have the… [more]

It's official!  The Captain is 6.  He came to us just over 3 years ago, two weeks short of his 3rd birthday.  It sounds cliche, but the time has flown! In many respects, he is a normal boy.  He loves active games and Legos.  He loves to run, play, fidget and make a bit of mischief. He loves his siblings and -- this is new -- his parents. He has made so much progress.  He is making huge strides in speech with only a few niggling issues to clear up.  He is learning along with his kindergarten class although at his own pace.  He can do auditory tasks we only dreamed of a year ago.  He has learned to count to… [more]

Yesterday I was talking to my support partner about our little ones.  He, per usual, listened attentively and then repeated something I had said, asking me to listen to my own words.  "Tell me what you hear," he said: "I am afraid that I cannot love them enough to fix what is broken in them." Hmmm.  I said,  "Well, it's not true that they are broken. They don't need "fixed."  They have been terribly hurt, for certain.  They have suffered and some of what has happened to them cannot be undone.  I can support them and love them and advocate for them. But by the same token, these challenges are what make us who we are, what make us strong, what make us unique." "That's… [more]

Well here they are.  Aren't they glorious? I call them the Fab Five, Team Tischler, The Triple Threat and Double Trouble, the Love Bunch and each and every one of them "sweetie."  Yes, I'm a softie. I'm the parent who says, "Oh, she didn't mean it," or "He just didn't understand [that you didn't want him to dismantle the train track you spent 5 hours assembling, etc.].  I'm the one who has to be physically restrained if someone criticizes one of my kids.  Yes, I'm that Mom.  I'm the mom who cries in every ARD meeting, who cries at dance recitals, and who cheers embarrassingly loud at softball games.  I'm the mom who would let all 5 of my kids… [more]

On November 17, we celebrated National Adoption Day.  In our home, it's the day in which we celebrate the adoption of all 5 of our children.  Some years it's a big party, this year, it was a little toned down.  It was a busy week in our household and I was on my second week of being pretty darn sick.  The kids did not care. For us, Adoption Day is also about awareness.  We celebrated through the week as I went to both The Captain's and Tinker's classes to share a book and a little chat about adoption.  This year's book was, I Wished for You.  This is a heartwarming story about Barley Bear who looks a little different from his… [more]

I don't use my children's real names in my blog, ever.  There's a good reason for that:  When they're 25 and applying for a job, I don't want their prospective boss to Google them and find out they couldn't spell in first grade or something.  Ditto their prospective mate!  But to every rule, there is an exception. We are Roman Catholics and our tradition is to give our children the name of a saint or a virtuous Old Testament Character.  Similar to other naming traditions, this process gives them both a name rich in meaning and also someone of character to look up to as they grow.  This person becomes their "Patron Saint."  I am a convert to the… [more]

I was totally shocked today when OSG came downstairs for church. He looked so grown up. He is now taller than his dad (and me but that doesn't count because I am 4' 10".) He had on a very formal looking pair of pants, a sharp green shirt- tucked in and his glasses. You may wonder why I mention the glasses. Well, he has lost them so many times in the past year that I was very surprised to see them perched on his nose. Wow! What a looker. I better put a lock on the door. I am not ready for all that comes with being a teenager- especially the boy/girl relationship part. It seems way too early for that to occur… [more]

I am often asked how I adopted OSG. It is very obvious that he is adopted and people want to know his story. When he was little, it didn't seem like a big deal to talk to people about his apparent situation. Now that he is a teenager, he desires that no one notice the differences. He wants to be like all of his peers. Yet, he is not and it is that fact that makes him feel insecure. The question that I deal with on a regular basis is how do I help my son deal with his adoption in a way that will not cripple him in adulthood. He has to look head-on at the truth of his story and walk… [more]

In the last post, I talked about how OSG is very involved in archery, horseback riding and other 4-H activities. It is true. I keep him busy, busy and more busy. In fact, I keep all of my kids busy. That is why I am on the brink of insanity. I talked last time about OSG tendency to lean toward mediocrity. I think that the hardest part about that is his brother, 4 months older, leans the other way. He is driven, direct and very accurate. For that reason, OSG has always gotten the short end of the stick. He leans toward normal and his brother- the one he is constantly compared to- leans toward perfectionism. For example, OSG has been shooting bow for… [more]

I have to admit that this very hot, very dry summer has kept this farmer's wife on her toes. I so rarely sit- even for a second. Perhaps that is an exaggeration but it is how I feel. We need a break. Yet, in the middle of winter when things are slower on the farm, I always look forward to the busyness that summer holds. OSG has been incredibly busy as well. He (and his siblings) are the reason that I am so very active. He has been showing horses, shooting bow and reading like crazy. In between all of that, I make him work. He is very involved in 4-H and channels most of his activities through that. His archery is a… [more]