The Difference I Make

July 29th, 2013

TInker SassyI had another in an unfortunate trend of life-threatening emergencies the other day. ¬†Thankfully, once again, everything worked out fine. ¬† I had a few days quiet in the hospital to think about what my life stood for. What had I offered the world? Had my living made a difference?¬†Such emergencies tend to leave one waxing poetic about the meaning of life. I keep asking myself, if I died tomorrow, what difference would it make? ¬†I have to tell you honestly that my first answer was, "I matter to my kids" and my second was that "I have been an advocate for children through foster care," and¬†that¬†matters. People often say, "Was it worth it? Isn't it a lot of hard work for… [more]

Will They be Welcomed?

June 27th, 2013

fab 5 2012Recently Dear Hubby and I were discussing with some friends our decision to adopt our younger sibling group of three. We recalled that what worried us at the time -- finances, retirement, college education -- did not turn out to be the things we necessarily should have been worrying about. That runs to the more mundane, such as, how do I keep up with the dishes when 7 people seem to be eating round the clock. And, do you have any idea how many clothes 7 people get dirty once they are capable of changing their own clothes? In fact, it's a little funny now looking back on what worried us before that adoption and before both of our older girls… [more]

Why Foster to Adopt

April 23rd, 2013
Categories: Adoption Awareness

National Adoption Day 2011I was adopted at age 18 months by my foster parents. They had received me as a foster child at age 4 months and in the 1970's, foster parents weren't encouraged to adopt the children they cared for so this was an anomaly at that time. My parents continued to take foster children my entire time growing up at home and my Mom is still a foster parent today (she has been for 37 years). ¬†I am the only child they adopted. They told me that once they got to keep me, it was easier to let go when it was time for other children to move on or return home. I always wanted to adopt a child to have the… [more]

Birthday Boy

March 18th, 2013
Categories: Adoption Awareness

The Captain aged 6It's official! ¬†The Captain is 6. ¬†He came to us just over 3 years ago, two weeks short of his 3rd birthday. ¬†It sounds cliche, but the time has flown! In many respects, he is a normal boy. ¬†He loves active games and Legos. ¬†He loves to run, play, fidget and make a bit of mischief. He loves his siblings and -- this is new -- his parents. He has made so much progress. ¬†He is making huge strides in speech with only a few niggling issues to clear up. ¬†He is learning along with his kindergarten class although at his own pace. ¬†He can do auditory tasks we only dreamed of a year ago. ¬†He has learned to count to… [more]

Loving them Enough

January 24th, 2013

DSCN7267Yesterday I was talking to my support partner about our little ones. ¬†He, per usual, listened attentively and then repeated something I had said, asking me to listen to my own words. ¬†"Tell me what you hear," he said: "I am afraid that I cannot love them enough to fix what is broken in them." Hmmm. ¬†I said, ¬†"Well, it's not true that they are broken. They don't need "fixed." ¬†They have been terribly hurt, for certain. ¬†They have suffered and some of what has happened to them cannot be undone. ¬†I can support them and love them and advocate for them. But by the same token, these challenges are what make us who we are, what make us strong, what make us unique." "That's… [more]

The Fab Five – A Love Thursday Post

November 29th, 2012

fab 5 2012Well here they are. ¬†Aren't they glorious? I call them the Fab Five, Team Tischler, The Triple Threat and Double Trouble, the Love Bunch and each and every one of them "sweetie." ¬†Yes, I'm a softie. I'm the parent who says, "Oh, she didn't mean it," or "He just didn't understand [that you didn't want him to dismantle the train track you spent 5 hours assembling, etc.]. ¬†I'm the one who has to be physically restrained if someone criticizes one of my kids. ¬†Yes, I'm that Mom. ¬†I'm the mom who cries in every ARD meeting, who cries at dance recitals, and who cheers embarrassingly loud at softball games. ¬†I'm the mom who would let all 5 of my kids… [more]

Happy Adoption Day!

November 24th, 2012

fab 5 2012On November 17, we celebrated National Adoption Day. ¬†In our home, it's the day in which we celebrate the adoption of all 5 of our children. ¬†Some years it's a big party, this year, it was a little toned down. ¬†It was a busy week in our household and I was on my second week of being pretty darn sick. ¬†The kids did not care. For us, Adoption Day is also about awareness. ¬†We celebrated through the week as I went to both The Captain's and Tinker's classes to share a book and a little chat about adoption. ¬†This year's book was, I Wished for You. ¬†This is a heartwarming story about Barley Bear who looks a little different from his… [more]

What’s in a Name?

October 19th, 2012
Categories: Adoption Awareness

The Captain first day 2012I don't use my children's real names in my blog, ever. ¬†There's a good reason for that: ¬†When they're 25 and applying for a job, I don't want their prospective boss to Google them and find out they couldn't spell in first grade or something. ¬†Ditto their prospective mate! ¬†But to every rule, there is an exception. We are Roman Catholics and our tradition is to give our children the name of a saint or a virtuous Old Testament Character. ¬†Similar to other naming traditions, this process gives them both a name rich in meaning and also someone of character to look up to as they grow. ¬†This person becomes their "Patron Saint." ¬†I am a convert to the… [more]

High School Already?

September 30th, 2012
Posted By: on Foster Adoption

1173688_high_school_woesI was totally shocked today when OSG came downstairs for church. He looked so grown up. He is now taller than his dad (and me but that doesn't count because I am 4' 10".) He had on a very formal looking pair of pants, a sharp green shirt- tucked in and his glasses. You may wonder why I mention the glasses. Well, he has lost them so many times in the past year that I was very surprised to see them perched on his nose. Wow! What a looker. I better put a lock on the door. I am not ready for all that comes with being a teenager- especially the boy/girl relationship part. It seems way too early for that to occur… [more]

I Am Blessed

August 30th, 2012
Posted By: on Foster Adoption

1334731_valentine_day_cardI am often asked how I adopted OSG. It is very obvious that he is adopted and people want to know his story. When he was little, it didn't seem like a big deal to talk to people about his apparent situation. Now that he is a teenager, he desires that no one notice the differences. He wants to be like all of his peers. Yet, he is not and it is that fact that makes him feel insecure. The question that I deal with on a regular basis is how do I help my son deal with his adoption in a way that will not cripple him in adulthood. He has to look head-on at the truth of his story and walk… [more]