If you’ve been a foster parent you’ve probably had a child leave your home that you didn’t want to leave. Even as an adoptive parent, you sometimes have to make the decision to disrupt a placement when you don’t want to or have had a “legal risk” child who was returned to a birth parent or possibly to a biological family member. No doubt you have grieved the loss of that child.

But… Does the child ever really leave your heart? For me that answer is a resounding NO!

Sammy called me unexpectedly today and asked me a question... more

I previously wrote a blog about some of the pitfalls of adopting sibling groups. Hannah was placed with her biological siblings before she came to us. On the surface it was a good idea, but it turned out to be bad for this family.

When Hannah joined our family, we all agreed that we would keep contact open among the kids. They deserve it. Hannah attempted to seriously hurt on of her brothers at one point, but he has since forgiven... more

Part 1 – Safety Part 2 – Fostering a child’s well being

Part 3 of the report by by Adair Fox and Jill Duerr Berrick, Titled “A Response to No One Ever Asked Us: A Review of Children’s Experiences in Out-Of-Home Care”.

This section addresses... more

I am about to post a very unpopular opinion. I think that many times it is not in the best interest of the children to be placed and adopted together.

I know several people who have adopted siblings, or have taken placement of siblings. Most of them say it is not in the best interest of the child. We also had siblings with Kory and Mackenzie. When they left our home, the next home they went to took both of them, and after two years ended up moving Kory to another home. There he flourished and was finally... more

A few rules about children in your home:

There is a discussion over on the foster to adoption forum about having two or more children under two years old. The question first came up:

Just wondering if anyone has fostered two babies at one time? Or what ages did you have at one time?

Many people have had several young children and babies at once and it is being discussed on the forum

In Colorado, you can only have two children under two years of age at one time, and our last agency discouraged having more than one under two unless they were siblings.

After we adopted K, the regulation stated we were not allowed to foster or adopt any other children... more

The kids are all fast asleep but I've got to get them up in a minute to get them to school.

It was actually really easy. They all tore through the house as soon as they got here.

The eldest was really cute. As we pulled up to our Christmas Lit home he declared: "You decorated for us!”

I told him we did it as a surprise for him.

He kept wandering around our home saying "Your house is so pretty, so pretty".

Even though it made... more

………So, to continue my discussion of my self imposed rules for accepting a fost-adopt placement, and how I arrived at these rules and my decisions… (and then in later posts, why I might break my own rules)…..

Here is the first post, and here is my argument for rule #1.

To refresh, here are the rules:

1.... more

The sibling thing I wrote about earlier got me thinking.. K has a sibling - a half sister that lives with her birth mother. Of course this isn’t the same as a sibling that grows up in the same house, but I started wondering, should I get advice on how to handle this? Could I find some?

Never fear.

Once you hit that search button, there is no end to the amount of people willing to dish it out.

Snapping clicking my way through google and Adoption.org, I found ... more

So, I’ve been thinking about siblings a bit, and when, if ever, I want to start the process of adopting again. I thought I’d be starting it right now. I even wrote about it here.

But, now, that NOW has come, and I find I’m just not ready - yet. K is just too easy and life is pretty fun. Adding another child to the mix gives me pause.

Still, another child.... humm...What if?

This is where my mind goes:

What if....They just don’t get along. That is such a... more

I’m thinking about the sibling thing again. I wrote about having an only lonely child back in February, and Sandra over at the International Adoption Blog has been writing about the effect siblings have on each other. After all it is the relationship that outlasts every other one.

My hubby is an only child. He came out ok. He doesn’t talk a lot about wishing he had siblings, but I think... more