I am already emotionally and physically depleted from the ATN conference, and today adds another dimension of emotion to my life. I don’t know how I’ll handle it.

As I blogged back in April, my former foster kids’ birthdays are very hard on me. Today is Mackenzie’s birthday. She is five. I am still incredibly jealous of Sammy... more

I am writing this blog in the van on the way back from the ATN conference. I am exhausted, but it was a great event.

We had amazing speakers, fun social events, but most importantly, parents received support. One of the greatest things about this event is that parents are among other parents who get it.

It is wonderful to hear parents laugh as they swap stories and each person has a “better one” than the next. There are no questioning looks. There are no doubts surrounding... more

In my recent blog titled “Once you have been matched” a reader wrote a great comment regarding reading a child’s profile and case history.

Also look carefully for gaps, or holes in the information. It is better to play connect the dots, and try to get a whole picture BEFORE your child comes home, rather than when they are with you and in crisis.

That is a GREAT answer, and one I wish I could convince parents of, but... more

If you’ve been a foster parent you’ve probably had a child leave your home that you didn’t want to leave. Even as an adoptive parent, you sometimes have to make the decision to disrupt a placement when you don’t want to or have had a “legal risk” child who was returned to a birth parent or possibly to a biological family member. No doubt you have grieved the loss of that child.

But… Does the child ever really leave your heart? For me that answer is a resounding NO!

Sammy called me unexpectedly today and asked me a question... more

About a year or so ago, my friend MJ, discovered a major loophole in the adoption assistance program. This is a particular question that we asked when we signed Sammy’s adoption assistance contract.

It appears that adoption assistance does not transfer to the legal guardians upon the death of a single adoptive parent, or the death of both adoptive parents if there are two parents.

We asked this question when were getting ready to finalize Sammy’s adoption as we knew we would need to update our wills and name guardians for... more

In order for a child to be legally placed from one state to another, an Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children, or ICPC, MUST be completed. Trying to by-pass this requirement will lead to whatever punishment the jurisdiction has in place. This could mean removal of the child from your home, loss of your foster care license, or the ability to adopt in the future.

The compact allows the sending state (the state in which the child currently resides) to receive home studies, and all documents that the receiving state (the state... more

I first met Stephen Hayes about a year and a half ago. We were looking at adopting a child who was coming from a disruption (not Hannah) and my friend, Elaine, referred me to him. After our initial phone conversation, I checked out the website of his law firm and found that Stephen Hayes had received the Angels in Adoption award in 2005.

When I first met Steve, we spent a little bit of time talking about the potential adoption, and what the... more

In most states, you are considered a foster parent during the period between placement and finalization. You have all the rights and responsibilities that accompany your foster parent license, but also know that these rights may limit what you can and can not do in regards to your child.

Since you will still be under the supervision of your social services office, or adoption agency, they will need to be consulted or notified of major medical issues. If you need to admit your child to hospital, you will need to notify the office immediately.... more

Adoption assistance is available on every child that is adopted from foster care. Adoption assistance is a monthly stipend paid to adoptive parents to help offset the costs of some of the things that your child will need.

While you may think that you do not need the financial assistance, it is in your best interest to sign an adoption assistance agreement. It can be very difficult to get assistance in place once an adoption has been finalized.

Generally, adoption assistance is paid based on the amount the foster family... more

In my previous blog I promised to post the Wisconsin Foster Parents Bill of Rights that we are trying to get introduced into the legislature. Opinions?

Wisconsin Foster Parent Bill of Rights - DRAFT - Foster parent rights. A foster parent’s rights include, but are not limited to, the following:

(1) The right to be treated with consideration, dignity and respect as a professional member of the child welfare team.

(2) The right to be given standardized pre-service and appropriate ongoing training to... more