I have blogged before about how our kids have trauma triggers that can make them act out. As parents we have those triggers as well from living with a traumatized child, but few professionals want to acknowledge this.

Today is the anniversary of the worst day of my life. Five years ago today is the last day that I held Kory and Mackenzie. Their worker brought them to our home for a visit and to say good-bye. We spent a couple of hours with them, and my friend Laura came to see them as well. She was Kory’s godmother and adored both of them.

The... more

I have blogged about the Nebraska Safe Haven Law here and here. This was a bad law that is backfiring in ways in that are going to hurt children.

In the latest case, a sibling group of nine children were left by their father at the Creighton University Medical Center on Wednesday. The children were between the ages of 1 and 17. So far sixteen children have been surrendered since the law took... more

I love this initiative out of Arizona. Arizona Child Protective Services' has a Family to Family Team Decision Making program that takes the input of both foster parents and birth parents in determining the best interest of child.

Birth parents and foster parents in conjunction with social services and other applicable child welfare groups form a panel and discuss cases where a child being removed from a home is being considered. In some cases this happens... more

I don’t remember how I wound up on this website, but a few weeks ago I stumbled across a website for Every Child Matters. Every Child Matters is a bi-partisan group trying to get political reform for kids. Since we are in an election year, the “theme” is “I’m Voting for Kids.” The website is extensive in the information that it offers and can make you think twice about what your state is doing for children.

I ordered a promotional packet that had great information in it and things that I will certainly... more

Florida is one of two states that have specific law prohibiting “gay” adoption. This week this law got a shot that wasn’t expected.

A gay man and his partner in Florida were approved to adopt the 13 year old boy that they had been foster parents to for the last seven years. The boys social worker recommended the adoption and the judge upheld the workers decision.

Personally, I agree with the decision. It’s in the best interest of the child. These are the only parents this boy has known for the past seven years, or over half his life. Would it be better for him... more

I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so.

About three weeks ago I blogged about the new Safe Haven law that Nebraska instituted allowing parents to leave a child up to the age of 19 without fear of prosecution. Well, it has already happened. Not once, but twice in the same day.

Two boys, ages 11 and 15 were left at two different medical centers. The boys are not related it just happened that these occurred on the same day. One boy was dropped off by his... more

I have blogged on here often that abuse allegations have a long lasting effect on a family. We are living proof of that, and another reminder came in the mail today.

We thought our home study for Hannah had been approved, but it appears there are some “details” yet to be ironed out. We received a letter stating that based on the records that our county sent to the adoption agency, the agency needs to speak to the state to get “Any report of any substantiated child abuse or neglect.”

To say I am a little hot under the collar is an understatement.... more

Five times between September and May I attend a bible study class two hours from my home. I attend with several other people from my church and people from neighboring churches.

The last two years I have shared a hotel room with the director of a homeless shelter for women and children. She has given me great insight into some things that her moms go through.

This past weekend we had an interesting discussion that made me realize the uphill battle that some of the moms are fighting, namely the ones who are working their plans and trying to get their kids... more

It is not unusual for children who have been through trauma to have mixed up memories of the trauma. I have seen and heard of many cases where a foster or traumatized child has accused the current parents of something that the birth parent did to them.

These are young children who have been through horrible things. Hannah used to tell me stories about what her biological aunt did to her. When I spoke with her previous mom, I discovered that these are the things that he her birth mother did to her. They happened, but her memories are mixed up as to who the... more

When adopting an older child chances are highly likely that your child remembers members of the birth family and may want to have ongoing contact with the birth family. Likewise, birth family members may want to continue contact with your child.

This can be a threatening option, or it can be a great way for you to learn about your child’s early life. Contact can range from siblings to grandparents or even birth parents.

The first thing is to assess the appropriateness of the various family members in your child’s life. Some of this may have already been determined... more