Many times parents wonder if they should do foster care to adoption or “straight” adoption. There is a great difference between the two and it is a decision only you can make.

What are the differences? There really is only one difference but it is a big one. My husband and I have only done “straight” adoption, which means that we have only taken in children that we intended to adopt.

With foster to adopt you are taking in foster children and may potentially adopt one or multiple children who come into your home. Some parents choose to go this... more

Over the weekend I got to see my beautiful niece, Lisa. I don’t get to spend as much time with her as I’d like so any time with her is treasured.

Lisa and my son, Sammy, are two months apart in age, but worlds apart in maturity. Talking with her made me contemplate what could have been if Sammy had not had all the issues that he has had to deal with in his life.

The early part of Lisa’s life was less than desirable. My brother did not knowledge her existence or his paternity for the first almost seven years of her life. Lisa officially joined our family... more

I have blogged before about the tenuous relationship with my family members, especially my mother. The truth is, my mother is an alcoholic. In her mind she is not since she does not drink during the day, but she drinks every single night and being drunk is a regular occurrence.

I can’t remember a time when alcohol was not a focus in our home. I heard the stories for years about my biological great-grandfather, who I never met, who abused my great-grandmother and held a gun... more

I have blogged before about how our kids have trauma triggers that can make them act out. As parents we have those triggers as well from living with a traumatized child, but few professionals want to acknowledge this.

Today is the anniversary of the worst day of my life. Five years ago today is the last day that I held Kory and Mackenzie. Their worker brought them to our home for a visit and to say good-bye. We spent a couple of hours with them, and my friend Laura came to see them as well. She was Kory’s godmother and adored both of them.

The... more

I have blogged about the Nebraska Safe Haven Law here and here. This was a bad law that is backfiring in ways in that are going to hurt children.

In the latest case, a sibling group of nine children were left by their father at the Creighton University Medical Center on Wednesday. The children were between the ages of 1 and 17. So far sixteen children have been surrendered since the law took... more

I love this initiative out of Arizona. Arizona Child Protective Services' has a Family to Family Team Decision Making program that takes the input of both foster parents and birth parents in determining the best interest of child.

Birth parents and foster parents in conjunction with social services and other applicable child welfare groups form a panel and discuss cases where a child being removed from a home is being considered. In some cases this happens... more

I don’t remember how I wound up on this website, but a few weeks ago I stumbled across a website for Every Child Matters. Every Child Matters is a bi-partisan group trying to get political reform for kids. Since we are in an election year, the “theme” is “I’m Voting for Kids.” The website is extensive in the information that it offers and can make you think twice about what your state is doing for children.

I ordered a promotional packet that had great information in it and things that I will certainly... more

Florida is one of two states that have specific law prohibiting “gay” adoption. This week this law got a shot that wasn’t expected.

A gay man and his partner in Florida were approved to adopt the 13 year old boy that they had been foster parents to for the last seven years. The boys social worker recommended the adoption and the judge upheld the workers decision.

Personally, I agree with the decision. It’s in the best interest of the child. These are the only parents this boy has known for the past seven years, or over half his life. Would it be better for him... more

I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so.

About three weeks ago I blogged about the new Safe Haven law that Nebraska instituted allowing parents to leave a child up to the age of 19 without fear of prosecution. Well, it has already happened. Not once, but twice in the same day.

Two boys, ages 11 and 15 were left at two different medical centers. The boys are not related it just happened that these occurred on the same day. One boy was dropped off by his... more

I have blogged on here often that abuse allegations have a long lasting effect on a family. We are living proof of that, and another reminder came in the mail today.

We thought our home study for Hannah had been approved, but it appears there are some “details” yet to be ironed out. We received a letter stating that based on the records that our county sent to the adoption agency, the agency needs to speak to the state to get “Any report of any substantiated child abuse or neglect.”

To say I am a little hot under the collar is an understatement.... more