Hannah turns 7 today and she’s having a great day. Our family tradition is that you get breakfast in bed on your birthday (somehow I never get it on my birthday) and get to open your gifts while still in bed. What a way for a 7 year old to start the day.

Hannah is a far cry from the 4 year old child that I first met. She was an angry little girl who screamed at the top of her lungs for eight hours. She was as oppositional as a child could get. She would not let anyone hug her, she would not cuddle with her mom, she tried to choke her older brother... more

My private life and my “business” life intersect on a regular basis. I’m a foster/adoptive parent, and I can’t turn that off when I walk out my door. It’s the same for every parent.

We were at a wedding this past weekend. Our former pastors did the ceremony and it was so great to see them again. They know what I do for a living and have been incredibly supportive of our family. A few years ago, one of their family members adopted two little boys from Russia. We have talked about the boys and how they are doing a number of times. Recently the topic of attachment... more

Many of the blogs I write are quite “heavy” because, after all, life in foster care is not a fun subject. Most of the kids don’t get to laugh often and as parents of foster kids, we don’t always get to laugh either.

Lately, Hannah has been cracking me up. Some things are just plain funny, and other are a six year old not quite understanding the other world yet. I thought I’d share some of these with you and hopefully add a little bit of levity to an otherwise hard subject.

One day Hannah and I were running errands and she was wearing her “fancy” shoes,... more

Yesterday I helped to transition our respite “daughter” into a new home that may have the chance of being a permanent placement for her. I had intended to have this young woman until the end of summer, but a joint decision was made to move her to my friend, Elaine’s house, where she may stay and where they can determine if she is a good fit in their home.

We spent the morning at the zoo. When we returned home we sat down with Dana and some of Elaine’s kids and went through the Smith family rules. Elaine had e-mailed me the list of rules before hand and I... more

We spent a large part of the 4th of July weekend with my friend, Elaine, and her family. I have blogged about them before.

Elaine has a large family. There are eight adopted children, two biological children, and a couple of grandchildren along with mom and dad. I love spending time with this family because they are so much fun and a happy family.

Friday night we decided to have an impromptu party and Elaine and her family joined us for a cookout. This... more

As you know, the Midwest has been ravaged by thunderstorms and flooding for almost two weeks now. It has been a nightmare for all of us, although we have fared better than most.

The things that are precious to me were not affected, or so I thought. A couple of years ago we were trying to sell our house and we packed up things that we did not need and moved them to a shed. Among them were some photos and scrapbooks. I thought they were safe from the storms because they were up high, but the box had tipped over. My heart nearly broke in two when I walked... more

One thing are kids are very good at is conning and manipulating otherwise reasonably intelligent adults. They have to be, this is how they have survived. If they didn’t have these skills, they could be dead, or might not have been adopted. Our kids survived by being cute and smart.

There is a politically incorrect but true statement:

“The dumb ugly ones don’t make it.”

This statement is not meant to demean children, but instead it refers to kids being smart enough to figure out how to get what they need. One day batting... more

There are days when you get a glimpse into the bright side of our kids and you know that what you are doing makes a difference. I had one of those days with Sammy recently. Following is a letter he sent home.

Dear Mom, Dad, Hannah

I really miss you. I am trying really hard to improve on changing my attitude. It has been going very well. I just wanted to write to you because I am feeling depressed with all the stuff happening to me and me being in (placement name) and all. I can’t believe you have stayed with me through all this ruckus.... more

You won’t be hearing from me as much in the next few weeks. Life is absolutely insane here and the thought of trying to write forty-three blogs a month is overwhelming, so I am toning it down a bit.

I will continue to keep you updated on our home study and adoption of Hannah. Right now we are in the hurry up and wait stage. It takes time for all the background checks and other various legal paperwork to come in, so we sit and wait for everything to happen. For us it’s not a big deal since we already have Hannah in our home, but for most waiting parents this... more

It is my husband’s birthday today. We have had a very good day. We actually had a real, live, grown-up date last night. Can you believe it?

Today we went to church, were home for a little bit, went to take a gift to Sammy’s former foster parents, and then on to the hockey game that I blogged about earlier this week.

My husband is a great support to our family. He is our bread winner, but that’s not what I mean by support. Our family has been through some incredibly hard... more