As you know, the Midwest has been ravaged by thunderstorms and flooding for almost two weeks now. It has been a nightmare for all of us, although we have fared better than most.

The things that are precious to me were not affected, or so I thought. A couple of years ago we were trying to sell our house and we packed up things that we did not need and moved them to a shed. Among them were some photos and scrapbooks. I thought they were safe from the storms because they were up high, but the box had tipped over. My heart nearly broke in two when I walked... more

One thing are kids are very good at is conning and manipulating otherwise reasonably intelligent adults. They have to be, this is how they have survived. If they didn’t have these skills, they could be dead, or might not have been adopted. Our kids survived by being cute and smart.

There is a politically incorrect but true statement:

“The dumb ugly ones don’t make it.”

This statement is not meant to demean children, but instead it refers to kids being smart enough to figure out how to get what they need. One day batting... more

There are days when you get a glimpse into the bright side of our kids and you know that what you are doing makes a difference. I had one of those days with Sammy recently. Following is a letter he sent home.

Dear Mom, Dad, Hannah

I really miss you. I am trying really hard to improve on changing my attitude. It has been going very well. I just wanted to write to you because I am feeling depressed with all the stuff happening to me and me being in (placement name) and all. I can’t believe you have stayed with me through all this ruckus.... more

You won’t be hearing from me as much in the next few weeks. Life is absolutely insane here and the thought of trying to write forty-three blogs a month is overwhelming, so I am toning it down a bit.

I will continue to keep you updated on our home study and adoption of Hannah. Right now we are in the hurry up and wait stage. It takes time for all the background checks and other various legal paperwork to come in, so we sit and wait for everything to happen. For us it’s not a big deal since we already have Hannah in our home, but for most waiting parents this... more

It is my husband’s birthday today. We have had a very good day. We actually had a real, live, grown-up date last night. Can you believe it?

Today we went to church, were home for a little bit, went to take a gift to Sammy’s former foster parents, and then on to the hockey game that I blogged about earlier this week.

My husband is a great support to our family. He is our bread winner, but that’s not what I mean by support. Our family has been through some incredibly hard... more

It is nine years ago today that Sammy officially moved into our home. I wrote about this a year ago.

My husband and I discussed this on the way to church tonight. In the past year, the only thing that has really changed is that Sammy has been in three difference placements in the past year. Other than that, we’re pretty much in the same “place” we were a year ago.

Sammy’s placement is fairly “stable” at the moment. He does well in an institutional setting like... more

We have some unusual rituals in our house. Most people that hear them would think that we are just this side of insane. We probably are, but not for the reasons they think.

Way back in a former life, when I worked a full time job outside the house, I would drop Sammy off at school on my way to work. I was used to frequent phone calls from school because Sammy had gotten in trouble. Since Sammy is an oppositional child, we did “prescribing the behavior” before we knew it was a valid parenting technique for children like him.

Mornings were one of... more

I saw a thread on one of the adoption boards that asked about good adoption stories. The poster said that all she read were scary stories. Well, most of the people who post on the boards have some kind of problem that they need help with, or need to vent some frustrations. Most people don’t post too often to say that life is wonderful.

There are good adoption stories. We are living one with Hannah, although her story did not start well. She was adopted into a family who loved her tremendously and worked very hard for her to open up her heart and be able... more

I was gone this weekend for my Christian Education Lay Academy class. The topic this weekend was faith formation in the home. That’s not what I’m going to write about, but rather the topic that started our class that I struggled with myself.

Define Family.

Should be a fairly simple statement, right? No, not really for our families. I never came up with anything that I was completely happy with, but here are some of the things that were thrown out there.

Persons bound together by blood ties or mutual commitments that are sustained... more

We have all met someone who thinks that they know the secret to “fixing” our kids. I have experienced this so many times through the years, you’d think I know to keep my mouth shut.

I have had well meaning friends, overzealous family members, clueless therapists and other mental health professionals who have all told me the same things. If I would just love Sammy more, use star and sticker charts to reward his success, let the “little” things go (my mother thought stealing was a little thing) and so on.

I have spent years defending my parenting decisions,... more