There have been some interesting discussions about this on the Adoption.com forums. One of the big factors is are you getting a foster child or is this a pre-adoptive placement? You get far more information prior to placement when it’s a pre-adoptive situation.

The information you SHOULD receive and the information you will receive may be two different things. Do not hesitate to ask for more information. After all, you are the one raising this child, you are entitled to the history.

Prior... more

Back on to readers questions. One of the questions was “What should we NEVER forget to ask to our worker before we accept a placement?”

There is a simple, but long, answer to this question.

Buy the book “The Adoption.com Guide to Adopting from Foster Care”. It’s a great book! I should know, I wrote it.

Seriously, I would buy the book just for the checklists and questions alone. It is a downloadable... more

Occasionally, a hoped-for, planned-for adoption doesn’t go through. Perhaps the parents changed their mind and parented their child; perhaps the child went to relatives. In foster adoption, the child may have been reunited with the biological family. Whatever the case, and even when you know the placement was not a sure thing, it can cause heartache and disappointment for you and your family.

Steps:

1. Allow yourself to grieve your loss.

2. Don’t be afraid to cry.

3. Treat yourself to some extra pampering. Consider massage, long walks or reading.

4. If you have other children, talk with them openly and allow them to express their... more