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One of the foster moms on the adoption.com forum is transitioning her foster son to a placement with a biological family member.
Many people think that as a foster parent you don’t get attached to your foster children. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Foster parents love their children, no matter how long they are in their home. There are children that you may not have as strong of attachment to because of behavioral issues, but there are still emotions when a child leaves.
The... more

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You may feel horrible if you feel like you don’t like your child, but we all go through it. Even parents of biological “emotionally healthy” kids feel it.
To prove that you are not alone, I don’t like Hannah very much right now. For the past six weeks we have had a string of behaviors that we haven’t seen before and it’s driving me crazy. We have tried all kinds of interventions and none of them are working.
So what do you do when you don’t like your child?
Tag team parenting – We do this often, but haven’t done much of it lately.... more
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This is my last blog of the month, and a rather heavy one after my previous blog today. My day changed drastically this afternoon.
I noticed last night that my sweet dog, Sienna, was not acting her usual self. When she got up this morning she was very lethargic and wasn’t eating, which is highly unusual for this dog. I took her to the vet this afternoon knowing it would not be good news, but it was far worse... more
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As you know, Sunday is Easter. Sammy will not be home for Easter. With his new placement he has a restriction of at least 30 days before he is allowed to leave the grounds of where he is at. We may not even pick him up and go to lunch.
Instead we are traveling to visit him tomorrow after Hannah does an Easter egg hunt. His placement is over 90 minutes away, so it is not a quick or easy trip for a visit.
Sammy has spent a couple of holidays away from home, but they have not really been “major” holidays. There were a couple of Thanksgivings where he... more
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There has been a very tragic story going on in northern Wisconsin. In a small town called Crandon, where I spent some time at my great-grandparents cottage, an off-duty police officer shot and killed six people. He was then killed by fellow officers. Their funerals have been taking place all week. The gunman was laid to rest today.
On the surface this may seem unrelated to foster care and adoption, but it has hit me like a sledgehammer. I received a call from Sammy’s foster mom yesterday and Sammy is back in jail. It’s a complicated story, but the jail time is justified.
One... more
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I had another blog planned for today, but after reading Nancy’s blog about anger I had to address this issue.
I have been told on more than one occasion that I appear angry. Well DUH! I have lived in a war zone for the past eight and a half years. I have had very few sane days since then. I have had to fight tooth and nail for every service for my son. I have had workers question my “credentials”... more

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The last couple of days have been emotionally exhausting. With the news of losing our pastors at our church, came the grief from both Sammy and Hannah. We have already done three "cuddling" sessions with Hannah in the past twenty four hours where she has dumped all her emotions. I also had a conversation with my Sunday school kids, and answered tons of questions from them.
So, going along with the mood I'm in, I'm going... more
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Although I have never been hit by a Mack truck, I think what I’m feeling right now is pretty similar to that feeling.
Before I left for my Lay Academy class yesterday, one of our pastors met the six of us who were leaving for the class and dropped a nice bombshell on us. After twenty years as the pastors of our church, she and her husband have accepted the calling to another church.
I am not looking forward to this change. My pastors have been incredibly supportive and have felt many emotions about my children.... more

Just as there is post-partum depression, you may also experience Post Adoption Depression (PADS).
Your life has been a flurry of emotions during your adoption journey. Hope, relief, frustration, waiting, excitement, not to mention adding another person to your family. Just because you have not had the hormone fluctuation that giving birth causes to your body, does not mean that you haven’t had your share of emotional fluctuation.
You have been given a child that you are supposed to love her as your own, but is this connection... more

I am already emotionally and physically depleted from the ATN conference, and today adds another dimension of emotion to my life. I don’t know how I’ll handle it.
As I blogged back in April, my former foster kids’ birthdays are very hard on me. Today is Mackenzie’s birthday. She is five. I am still incredibly jealous of Sammy... more
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