The day has finally arrived. You’ve gotten a referral, you have accepted the referral and have been approved as the family for your new child. Excitement and panic mix together. You’re going to have a new child, or possibly sibling group, in your home. Now what?

Do you have everything you need for a child? Many people wonder if it’s appropriate to have a shower for your new child entering your home. My personal answer, yes. We had a shower for Sammy and it was wonderful. My family gave us a shower and the employees that my husband works with gave us... more

Here’s the scenario – Your case worker has presented you with the profile of a child available for adoption. You read the profile and fall in love with the child. One look at the photo and you are head over heels and think this child is meant to be in your home. I know the feeling. I went through it with Sammy.

When I read Sammy’s profile I thought, and yes, this was my actual thought, “This is a ‘normal’ kid just kicked up a few notches.” I couldn’t have been more wrong, but we wanted a child so badly that we eagerly agreed that he was the child for us, and... more

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Part 3

Our final set of questions will focus on the child’s behavioral and school issues, how the child feels about adoption and other miscellaneous questions.

Behavior

• What is personality and disposition... more

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Part 2

When it comes to physical and emotional health, you will have many questions about your child. Some questions can be answered. For others there may not be information available. Birth parents should fill out a family medical history, but not all parents do, and the information is only as reliable as the person filling it out.

The... more

Part 1

Our next set of questions will focus on the daily care of your child. Please bear in mind that these questions are written to encompass all age groups, and may not apply to your child.

Eating habits

• Large or small appetite?

• Likes or dislikes?

• Slow or fast eater?

• What are usual meal hours?

• Feeds self or needs help? Handles knife, fork and spoon well? Cup or glass?

• Are... more

Once you have been matched with a child, you will probably have a million questions and you will never be able to remember all of them.

Do not be afraid to ask questions. It is the only way you will gain knowledge about your child, and the knowledge you gain will help make your child’s transition easier. If you were moving to a country where you didn’t know anyone or anything and there were small things that were done such as having a pitcher of water next to your bed, or a nightlight in the hall to help you find your way, how would you feel? You can do... more

So what if you are adopting your child from another state? Previous blogs have talked about how your visits and placement will go, but when interstate adoption is involved, things will progress differently.

Before you schedule a visit with your child, be sure to clarify whether this a pre-placement visit, or if this is simply to see if this a potential match. You do not want to go thinking that this child is going to be placed with you, only to find out that you are one of several families being considered.

You... more

In the months following the official placement of your child, you will be monitored by social services. These visits are not meant to be invasive, but rather to help you with any questions or concerns you might have, or even that your child might have.

Visits are usually done once or twice a month, you can ask for more visits if you feel that they are necessary. Do not be afraid to ask for help. Be honest about needs and concerns that you have. You can’t get help or access to services, if no one knows that you need... more

My previous blog talked about the first visit with your child. What about future visits?

Your second visit will probably take place in the foster home again. You may stay at the home during the visit, or possibly take your child out for lunch. Slowly you will begin to transition visits to your home. You can expect your child to want to see the rooms that were in the pictures. This visit will probably bring out some anxiety in your child. Plan a calm activity, such as coloring, or a board game, to help ease him into... more

The day you have waited for is finally here. Your visit with your child. I can’t tell you how your child will react to your visit. I went through two different extremes.

The first time we met our son Sammy, he was scared, and did not want to see us at all. He was in a home with his biological brother, and didn’t want to leave him. He spent the entire 2 hour visit in his bedroom, looking at us through a crack in the door. We barely saw his face.

When we met our foster son Kory, he was standing on the porch... more