In my previous blog I talked about the permanency plan process for foster children. The process is quite different if the child’s adoption has been finalized and is in out of home care for other reasons.

In the case of the foster child, the plan or hearing is to determine if the birth parents are meeting their goals for reunification. In the case of a child in out of home care, it is slightly different.

Usually the child is in care because of issues that have occurred.... more

What is a permanency plan? If you are a foster parent you should be invited to these meetings. If you have a child in out of home care, you will attend them as well. I have one for Sammy on Friday morning, and it is being done differently than they normally are.

In a normal circumstance a permanency plan or a permanency “hearing” is to determine what is being done in order for the child to be able to return home.

In the case of the foster child, the birth parents actions will be examined. Each parent is given conditions or rules that they must follow... more

If you’ve been a foster parent you’ve probably had a child leave your home that you didn’t want to leave. Even as an adoptive parent, you sometimes have to make the decision to disrupt a placement when you don’t want to or have had a “legal risk” child who was returned to a birth parent or possibly to a biological family member. No doubt you have grieved the loss of that child.

But… Does the child ever really leave your heart? For me that answer is a resounding NO!

Sammy called me unexpectedly today and asked me a question... more

Maybe I should explain why I’m not thrilled that Ricky and mom live down the street.

He has to change schools again – and she probably won’t take the time to do it for a while. I’m sure he’ll be out of school for months now. This will be about his sixth school in two years. Every time she moves her welfare checks get lost in the system and she goes into emergency mode without food, gas etc. I always get panicked calls,... more

Surprise! Ricky showed up at my door yesterday just as I was getting ready to leave for the day. He's five now, and his mom drove by here to say hi.

I was just leaving for a day of church Halloween and fall festival activities so I said, ok, Ricky, just come along.

Quickly I put together a black robe and painted his face white. A belt sort of held the whole thing together and that was enough for him to suddenly be in costume!

K and Ricky had a great time. They play pretty well together despite two plus years difference in age. K... more

Naomi, a foster – adopt mom (and the Jewish blogger on adoption.com), has been wanting to adopt again from foster care.

She has one success story, having adopted her young daughter from foster care a few years ago. She’s also had a few false starts.

That’s normal when adopting from foster care. You probably will have false starts trying to adopt. Your children will go home sometimes. (unless you are ... more

Ricky's mom called.

Ricky went for an audition He's got talent!

How much money do they want?.... asked skeptical me.

Only money to sign him up, then some for photos, then some travel money... He could be in pictures!

Yea... Is he in school?

No, not yet because, blah blah blah....

Where are you living?

With a friend in her front room because blah blah blah...

Are you... more

There is a small part inside that wants to call Ricky’s mother and ask how they are. I haven’t heard from them in a while now, but I don’t know if that is a good thing or not.

Usually I hear from them when they need something. A roof, money, a ride somewhere. I’m just one of the many people on her list to call, and if I don’t answer the phone she moves on down the list.

Somehow she has found a boatload of people to help her.... more

(This is from a phone call a few months ago)

Matthew called me today. “I want to come over right now” he said.

My heart was already breaking. Where was he? What was going on?

“Where are you?” I said, “Is your mommy there?” “Can I come over” he said.

Matthew was a foster child we had a few years ago. He was eight years old, with Down Syndrome and sexual abuse from a day care place. His extended bio family all wanted us to adopt him, and we might have considered it, but at the eleventh hour his mom got clean and sober in time to see the judge. He... more

Are you guys tired of the Ricky drama? I know I am. But I also know that I have a few readers that follow what is happening with him, and besides, when I blog about it I feel better. Somehow when I blog about it, I get it out of my system. So here goes.

Mom called today. (That’s Ricky’s mom, not mine). They are headed to a shelter. They’ve been turned down for several places to live because of past evictions. She has burned all her bridges with subsidized housing. Her friends are tired of hyper little Rick.... more