Do you really like talking about sex with your kids? When is the right age to talk about it? How much information do you give? What if your child has been sexually abused? What if your child knows more about sex than you do?

Dealing with sex with a “normal” child is hard. Throw in the complications of a child who has been sexually abused, has witnessed sex, or may be a perpetrator, and you have a conundrum you’d probably rather avoid.

Our sex talks with Sammy began very early. At five years old, his knowledge was quite extensive. I knew about his abuse... more

One of the problems with children who are sexually abused, is that they can become perpetrators themselves. That is not saying that all children will, but it is something to be cautious of, especially if you have other children in the home.

Social services and foster parents do not always know if a child has become a perpetrator. This information would usually come from another child who has become a victim, but not all victims tell. The victim may have been threatened to be quiet, or the abusing child may actually be a sibling... more

In my last blog, I explained all the wrong things done when dealing with my own sexual abuse.

What do you do if you truly want to help a child instead of sweeping it under the rug? There are plenty of things you can do.

Acknowledge the abuse – In my own personal opinion that is one of the things that many people do wrong. There may be comfort, physical exams, legal issues, etc., but actually putting... more

One of my readers asked for my input about what helped me deal with my childhood abuse. Read this blog for the story.

Unfortunately, I am a great example of what NOT to do with a child.

My sexual abuse was barely acknowledged and in the past few years, my mother has taken to denying it happened at all. Naturally she denies that she physically or emotionally abused me.

I never received any counseling, and my... more

Faith has been writing some terrific blogs on the resiliency of children. Personally, I hate that saying, but I love Faith’s blogs.

Many people say that it’s OK to move a child several times, because kids are resilient and they will recover. Kids in foster care have already been through horrible events, and moving them because they are “resilient” just leads to more horror. They are “marked” for life by the events that they have already endured.

This... more

I am about to post a very unpopular opinion. I think that many times it is not in the best interest of the children to be placed and adopted together.

I know several people who have adopted siblings, or have taken placement of siblings. Most of them say it is not in the best interest of the child. We also had siblings with Kory and Mackenzie. When they left our home, the next home they went to took both of them, and after two years ended up moving Kory to another home. There he flourished and was finally... more

Part 1 – Sexual abuse – Why the secrecy? Part 2 – Sexual abuse – What is it? When you are reading a child’s profile or case study, there can be some big red flags about sexual abuse. They’re easy to spot if you know what you’re looking for. If you see these signs, and sexual abuse is not written in the report, ask more questions.

• Age inappropriate... more

Continued from Sexual Abuse – Why the secrecy?

Warning: Some content may be considered graphic.

Wikipedia describes sexual abuse as:

Sexual abuse (also referred to as molestation) is defined by the forcing of undesired sexual acts by one person to another. The term incest is defined as sexual abuse between family members, and the euphemism "bad... more

A couple of years ago I attended the National CASA conference with Julie. One of the sessions we attended was on sexual abuse, and it was wonderful.

The man who presented the session was Dr. Wayne Duehn. He had a great way of making you understand things from the point of view of the child. Not a big stretch for me, I’ve been there. But even with my “experience”... more

My blog is late today because I spent a good portion of the day in the car, and at doctors appointments.

Sammy got the molds made for the braces he’s going to be getting, and Hannah had to go in for a strep throat test.

Hannah had the classic symptoms of fever, swollen glands and hurting when she swallows. So, off to the doctor it was.

None of these things should be traumatic, should they? However, with our kids nothing is as simple as it should be.

Hannah was sexually abused orally by a biological relative.... more