This one was a new one for me. I had never heard of this kind of therapy and it had never been suggested for Sammy’s until his now former foster dad brought it up to me the other night.

Since I didn’t know anything about it, I did what I always do:

1) Research it. 2) Ask my friends about it.

Of all the people that I know who use different types of therapy for their kids, there was only one who was using this type of treatment for the child.

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is vastly different from traditional, or cognitive, therapy.... more

I have blogged before about how transitions are hard for our kids, especially if it involves moving to a new home, which is a major change, even for a kid who doesn’t “do family.”

Sammy’s placement is disrupting yet again. He knows this now and the transition is not going well, but then again, it never does. He knows that his actions are the reason that he is leaving, but he doesn’t want to admit that. Instead, he’d rather sabotage what time is left.

In Sammy’s world, having and maintaining control is the most important thing. He has said time and... more

You have waited so long for this child to enter your life, what if you’re not feeling the love?

It’s OK. You may not love your child at first, and your child may not love you. You are both going through major adjustments in your lives. Love is an emotion. You can not MAKE someone feel anything, nor can you make yourself feel something. If we could all force emotions on someone, the world would be a much happier place.

Allow everyone to get used to all the changes. One Mom told me that when her son first came, he called them Mommy and Daddy, but... more

Yesterday I went to see High School Musical on Ice with six little girls. I was a chaperon, along with three other adults, so we did well.

Of the six little girls, three of them would be considered “special needs” which can make for an interesting day.

There was Hannah who did well, her best friend A, who is dealing with Precocious Puberty and A’s sister F, who has Asperger’s Syndrome and ... more

One of my readers commented on a post about Hannah and asked if I had ever dealt with RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder).

Three of the four kids that I have parented have had attachment issues in one form or another. Sammy has by far been the most severe.

The main issue was not knowing about attachment disorder when we first started parenting. When Sammy was first placed in our home almost nine years ago, there were no training classes, and there... more

One of the main things with our kids is that they need to feel safe. This is something that Hannah and her previous family said often. When she moved into our home, we told her on a regular basis that it was our job to keep her safe.

I actually started this with Hannah when she first came here as a “respite kid.” She was within my line of sight at all times, I put an alarm on her bedroom door to let her know if anyone entered her room, and I did not fall into her games.

A feeling of safety is one of the ways that you can tell a child is attaching... more

After a particularly bad string of behaviors that got pretty scary, we admitted Sammy to a psychiatric hospital. He was ten years old and this was his second admission. His first was when he was only four years old.

We were shocked when one of the diagnosis that we received was Tourette’s Syndrome (TS). We didn’t know very much about TS, but what we did know surely didn’t fit Sammy. He did not jerk his head, he didn’t shout out curse words (involuntarily) or do things that we had seen on TV about people with TS.

We learned that what we had seen were... more

I have heard from many parents that one of the things that drives them crazy is when children become “clingy.” Having been through that with Hannah, I can agree.

There are times when you just want some time alone. When you are in the bathroom, you don’t want a little person following you in or pounding on the door asking when you are done. A moment’s peace is a precious thing.

There are several things that can cause a child to become clingy.

The biggest issue is anxiety or fear. Kids who have moved a lot or who have been neglected... more

There is a very disturbing article in the Chicago Tribune. It seems that there are colleges who are discriminating against students with mental health issues. I am embarrassed to say that one of them is here in Wisconsin.

The article outlines several students who were “asked” to leave their respective colleges because of mental health issues that they had. The colleges used the excuse that their illness was disruptive... more

Milwaukee has a new police chief today. While I was watching his acceptance speech, he said something that I really liked. He was talking about change and how the presidential candidates all say they’re in favor of change and he said

“Being in favor of change is about like being in favor of gravity.”

With our kids it’s different. Change can bring on anxiety attacks in them. Even small changes like a substitute teacher can bring on anxiety.

Like it or not, change is part of every day life. Some people embrace change, and... more