Every so often Hannah will call me Mama and it strikes me that a couple of years ago I wasn’t her mom. A couple of years ago I was a respite provider, a friend to her parents, a support system for their family and various other things, but I wasn’t her mom.

I don’t know why this only hits me at certain times, but when it does I realize this beautiful little girl is calling me something that I both am and am not. I did not give birth to this girl and others have filled the role of mom in her life as well.

This makes me wonder about our kids and how... more

It is not unusual for children who have been through trauma to have mixed up memories of the trauma. I have seen and heard of many cases where a foster or traumatized child has accused the current parents of something that the birth parent did to them.

These are young children who have been through horrible things. Hannah used to tell me stories about what her biological aunt did to her. When I spoke with her previous mom, I discovered that these are the things that he her birth mother did to her. They happened, but her memories are mixed up as to who the... more

In a prior blog I talked about separating my private life and business life. For the most part I can do it, but there are still stories that get to me. The following is one of them.

Warning: Graphic and repulsive information and descriptions.

Last week Patrick "Booger Red" Kelly received a life sentence for his actions in child sexual abuse. What he did is heinous and his sentence is justified if not actually light.

He “taught” five children, now ages... more

Earlier this week I blogged about a radio interview that I was going to do this morning. The schedule ran a little late, but I did it and I’m glad I did.

This interview was part of a three day fundraiser for child abuse prevention. Abuse survivors are interviewed about their stories and how it affects their lives now. I talked primarily about my sexual abuse, some of the abuse my kids have been through, and what I am doing to make changes now, namely my work with ... more

With so much attention being paid to childhood obesity the opposite end of the spectrum that many foster and adoptive parents deal with receives little, if any, attention.

Some of the children coming into care can have eating disorders. Yes, there are the teen issues of anorexia and bulimia, and there are the overweight kids, but I’m talking more about some of our kids under the age of 10 that have serious eating disorders or issues.

Many of our kids have been neglected and have food... more

This is the final part of the series on disorders and disabilities.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Learning Disabilities – Learning Disabilities is a wide open category. If this is in your child’s profile, it probably means that the child has an IEP... more

Part 1

Part 2

Encephalopathy – The definition from the National Institute of Neurological Disorders says:

Encephalopathy is a term for any diffuse disease of the brain that alters brain function or structure.

It is a very broad term for many... more

When reading a child’s profile or a child’s history prior to placement may have you reading terms you are unfamiliar with. This series will help you with some of the things you may read.

Part 1 – Disabilities and disorders

Cerebral Palsy – Cerebral Palsy, or CP, is a disease that affects body movement and the muscular system. CP is a brain disorder caused before or near the time of birth. The brain disorder or damage is what causes the muscular problems.... more

There are many disorders and disabilities listed in children’s profiles and some of the terminology can be very confusing. This series of blogs is intended to help take some of the mystery out of the terms that you read and help you evaluate if you want to pursue a placement.

Anemia – Anemia is a blood disorder that is not unusual nor dangerous. Simply, anemia is a shortage of red blood cells. Red blood cells carry oxygen to the organs. A shortage of oxygen leads to fatigue. Treatments can range from a simple iron supplement to hyperbaric... more

Many people underestimate kids and exactly how much they understand. Live with a traumatized child for a little while and you will change your tune.

Our kids understand so much and have incredible internal clocks that signal changes or significant dates to them. Many times we may not know or understand what the dates are for them.

The first few years that Sammy was in our family, we celebrated his move in date with our family. It didn’t take long for us to figure out that this was a bad decision. Sammy’s behavior began to escalate around that time, even... more