The sermon in church today was about God watching us and His love being never ending. Our pastor talked about Him seeing what’s inside of us and she used a geode as one example. On the outside it looks like a rock, but on the inside it is full of beautiful crystals, but you have to know to open it up.

This got me to thinking about our kids. What’s on the inside? Many of our kids present a very and sometimes downright ugly (attitude wise) behavior. The old defense mechanism of acting like a porcupine so that no one gets too close. But what if we take the... more

Some people are shocked when they hear that foster children can have a hard time in an adoptive home. I know I was one of those people. I thought that I would bring Sammy into our home and give him a stable and wonderful life, and he’d be “fine”. Boy, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

On one of the Adoption.com forums, I read such an incredible description of the thought process involved. Here it is:

Just suppose one day a husband came home and his wife did something to irritate him. Maybe she asked for money, or spilled food. He hit... more

There is a lot of controversy over giving foster children medication.

When Sammy came he was way over medicated because the dose just kept getting increased when his behaviors got worse. Never mind the fact that he was living between two houses, was having to leave his biological brother, and was told he was being adopted by some people he didn't know. We were able to cut the meds by 2/3. Over the years we have changed his medication as his body has changed, and as his behaviors have changed. We have never found a magic mix of medications that has been able... more

I am working on a video slide show for our pastors’ going away party. One of the photos shows them standing outside next to our church sign. The message on it at the time the picture was taken is:

“Change is inevitable – Growth is optional.”

Those words could not be more true if you are a foster or adoptive parent. The children in your home will change, workers will change and schedules will change. These are a given. The weather report the other day made me think... more

One of the biggest struggles with parenting traumatized children is finding good providers who really understand the struggles of our kids, and us as parents. Most “average” providers are not trained in trauma, attachment issues, or child psychiatric issues.

So, how do you find someone that gets it? There are a few key points that are important with either a therapist or a psychiatrist, and with most any provider that will work with you and your child.

The provider should not meet with your child alone. – If the provider wants to do this, or do so without... more

There are times when every parent doesn’t like their child. Like and love are different emotions, and right now I don’t like Sammy. I love him, but I don’t want him anywhere near me.

This weekend was a mixed bag of emotions. Hannah was baptized yesterday. It was a beautiful ceremony and she was very excited to be baptized. Both of our pastors adore her, and she adores them. There was one point where Pastor Jim was holding her and kind of “bopped” her on the nose. She in turn rubbed his head, which made the whole congregation laughed.

Hannah received... more

What do these three things have in common? You can find them all at the county fair.

We made the journey to our county fair yesterday afternoon. It’s pretty much a tradition, and I really wanted a funnel cake. We have to have priorities people.

Hannah had a blast. Last year she was with us for therapeutic respite, which meant she got to go along but games and rides were something she observed, not participated in. She was thrilled to be able to participate this year.

Among the many contest entries, animals, food vendors, and of course the midway,... more

I received a phone call from a very distraught Sammy tonight. I was not anxious to talk to him since the last time I saw or heard from him almost three weeks ago, he was spewing venom at me, telling me he hated me, and never wanted to come home again.

My how things have changed. Sammy was upset with some of the things going on in his foster home. If I am to believe his version of events (which I don’t) someone has done several destructive things, and framed him for them. I’m not being hard hearted, this is a recurring theme... more

I’m having one of those days where I get inside the minds of our kids a little bit. Lots of things have been going on and if I wasn’t the mom, I’d run away for a little while. Unfortunately, I’m expected to be responsible.

Part of the issue I didn’t see for what it was. A couple of people pointed it out to me. I had some PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) moments, along with several other feelings.

This past weekend I spent a lot of time out and about in our community. That’s... more

In my last blog, I explained all the wrong things done when dealing with my own sexual abuse.

What do you do if you truly want to help a child instead of sweeping it under the rug? There are plenty of things you can do.

Acknowledge the abuse – In my own personal opinion that is one of the things that many people do wrong. There may be comfort, physical exams, legal issues, etc., but actually putting... more