Our kids are lucky. I know you’re staring at your computer screen right now wondering what I have been drinking or smoking in order to make such a statement, but it really is true.

While our kids have been through horrific things, and things that no child should ever go through, the fact is that for our kids there are resources.

Let me back up a little bit and explain my position. It started this morning as I was sitting in church. Our pastor tackled the tough subject of war and soldiers laying down their lives for us. It is a hard subject to talk... more

Sammy called for his twice weekly phone call. He had a pretty deep question that is a tough one even for adults.

The center that Sammy is in is Christian based, which ranks high on the plus side for me. His call had much to do with a deeply theological question, but at the same time it’s a tough question for kids who have been through what our kids have.

Sammy asked me why I don’t forgive my mother. Well, that’s a loaded question. I told him that forgiving and trusting are two entirely different things. I said that I somewhat understand why she did... more

I was gone this weekend for my Christian Education Lay Academy class. The topic this weekend was faith formation in the home. That’s not what I’m going to write about, but rather the topic that started our class that I struggled with myself.

Define Family.

Should be a fairly simple statement, right? No, not really for our families. I never came up with anything that I was completely happy with, but here are some of the things that were thrown out there.

Persons bound together by blood ties or mutual commitments that are sustained... more

This weekend I had my Lay Academy class for Christian education. There were several interesting observations from the weekend that I could talk about, but the neatest by far was a young lady named Bailey. She was at the class with her mom. She quietly sat at the table with her mom and was polite and non-intrusive.

She joined in our activities where it was appropriate for her to do so, but she mostly read her book and did some writing. She shared one of her writings with the instructor of our class and she gave the instructor permission to share it with the rest of... more

Tomorrow afternoon I will head off with about forty of my church friends. We have an annual women’s retreat at a beautiful camp about an hour away from our church. To the best of my knowledge, there will be no other foster or adoptive parents in the group.

This will be my fourth or fifth year attending, I can’t quite remember, but it has been wonderfully renewing each year. One of our pastors, and her sister-in-law help to lead the retreat. They have both become dear friends.

It’s been about eighteen months since... more

I love my church family far more than my biological family. I’d spend time with them any day. In fact we spend quite a bit of time at our church.

Part of the reason for this is that they get my kids. I have had to give very little explanation about why I parent the way I do, and why my kids can’t get hugged and kissed by everyone.

Part of the reason is that our pastors used to live next to a family that had a child with attachment issues. This was before they ever came to our church. When we discussed my kids and I said attachment, they understood.

Other... more

I attend a Lay Academy class with a group of friends. In our “regular” class there are six of us from our church and a few other people from around the area. I am also attending a teaching ministry class with one person from our church, along with one of the other women that I attend my “regular” class with.

This past weekend was our teaching ministry class. I rode with my friend Beth, and a woman from her church, Nancy. Amazingly, all three of us are touched by adoption. Beth was adopted as an infant, Nancy has two children that were adopted as infants and they are... more

We started our new Sunday school year today. My husband and I have taught together for a few years, and I have taught other classes with other people.

We didn’t know these children, but did have the siblings of a couple of the kids in our previous class. We decided to do a “get to know you” type of thing with the kids, and asked questions about favorite color, favorite food, and many other things. One of the last questions was “Who are the members of your family?”

I thought it would be a safe question and take into account different family scenarios.... more

Tomorrow our church has the biggest fund raiser of the year. Every year we have a church picnic where anyone in the community is welcome to come and have hamburgers, brats and hot dogs. We have done this for several years. This year we are adding both a live and silent auction.

Getting ready for this takes much time and energy, and of course, volunteer work. We have worked at this function, in some form, virtually every year. My kids work as well. Yesterday Hannah and I were at church separating the things... more

I received a private e-mail from a reader, with a very valid question that I’d like to address.

Do you still feel that foster/adoption is a worthwhile experience?

My answer is a resounding – YES! But there is a caveat here. I believe in honesty in adoption. Holding information back from parents and idealizing things to parents does not do anyone any good.

I write honestly about both the joys and the struggles that we are dealing with. This is reality. It has not been an easy road, and there... more