My top ten intrusive question number three is pretty basic but I find it entirely irritating. "Are they brothers?"

Many of the questions that bother me have to do with alienating my children. We work hard every day to make a life for our boys where they feel at ease and comfortable with themselves. We want them to feel like normal kids. We do things like other families do, trying to have as routine a life as possible. We try to put the boys on meds that don't need to be taken during the school day. We try to make sure that the kids have moderately "cool" clothes and shoes. We try to... more

Number six in my top ten intrusive questions list is actually more of a statement than a question. It comes in many forms but it always comes down to one basic idea: "All that kid needs is a good whoopin'."

This lovely little bit of input can come from strangers, relatives, men, and women. It knows no socioeconomic or age boundaries and is not deterred by basic common sense. Maybe it is because we live in the 30-years-behind-the-times State of Kansas or maybe it is just because people have no ability to think before speaking but this statement is so common.

So many people... more

Intrusive question number seven is: "I would be so worried about the safety of 'my' children. Aren't you worried about 'those' kids hurting 'your' kids?"

Time and time again the stereotype that foster kids are monsters rears its ugly head. I think there are many things that perpetuate this myth. I think the media, as with many other things, over-accentuates the dramatic. Often I read articles about violent, traumatic events happening to a family and the "adopted" child is blamed. Adopted Son Kills Parents. Adopted Child Sets Fire. Adopted Man On Criminal Rampage. Have you ever seen... more

The next question in my installment of intrusive questions is: "Do you know anything about their 'real' parents?"

Hmmmmm. The sticky part of this intrusive question is how one would define the word 'real'. When my kids refer to someone other than me and hubby as their 'real' parents, I make them pinch my arm. Then I ask them if they think I am a 'real' person. They usually respond with the rolling of the eyes and a "Yes Mom, you're real." Point made. Point taken. However, I don't think the pinching thing would work as well with strangers. It might be a bit odd to ask a person in... more

Hello everyone! My name is Renee Eaton and I am one of your brand new bloggers. I am so excited to be here at AdoptionBlogs.com blogging about the amazing journey of foster-adoption. My husband and I have been blessed with two beautiful boys, both of whom we found in the foster care system. Our first son, T, was eleven when we first met him and had been waiting nearly ten years for a family to commit to him. He is now twelve and his adoption was finalized eight months ago. Our second son, Z, is nine and has been in our home for two and a half months at this point. We should... more

Sometimes when I talk to new foster and adoptive parents they are not ready to hear the reality of what the life we live is like. As I mentioned in a previous blog, it’s hard to explain the reality to people without scaring them away. There is a group of people, and I was among them, who are not ready to hear what more experienced parents have to say. Of course back when my husband and I adopted Sammy there were no pre-adoption classes and the internet was just getting going. We didn’t have the access to all the information that new parents have today.

I... more

I would like nothing more for Sammy to be able to join the military when he turns 18. I do not want my child to go into battle, but the structure would be so good for him, in addition to my knowing that he has a place to live and is eating every day.

Foster and adopted children are not excluded from joining the military, but there are some exclusions that may prohibit our “kids” from joining.

The military has a great website that specifically lists the exclusions, or disqualifications as they are called on ... more

My husband and I went through a year of infertility treatments when we received the news that we’d have to spend at least another $6000, I’d have to undergo surgery, we’d have to continue the injections and every other day trips to the doctor and there would be no guarantees. That was all we needed to hear to decide we were done. Adoption was our family building option. We were not opposed to adoption to begin with, but like most families we wanted to try for a biological child.

We evaluated all methods of adoption and we chose foster care adoption. Here... more

This will be my final blog for the month since the rest of the month will be knee deep in the ATN Conference, getting home and adding some respite kids to the household.

I am reading a book about being a stay-at-home mom. It’s called “Celebrate Home: Encouragement and Tips for Stay-At-Home Parents” and it’s got some really good information in it, and one part that I thought foster parents could really relate... more

There is an interesting article in the Florida Orlando Sentinel that I hadn’t thought of before, but it makes sense. I don’t know why this hadn’t crossed my train of thought.

A poor economy leads to an increase in child abuse. Many families are struggling, even those that are considered “middle class.” I know our family has had to tighten our budget and it’s been a downright horrid winter here.

Fuel prices are up, which means it costs me more to put... more