There have been some interesting discussions about this on the Adoption.com forums. One of the big factors is are you getting a foster child or is this a pre-adoptive placement? You get far more information prior to placement when it’s a pre-adoptive situation.

The information you SHOULD receive and the information you will receive may be two different things. Do not hesitate to ask for more information. After all, you are the one raising this child, you are entitled to the history.

Prior... more

In my Eyes and Progress blog I talked about how much you can tell from a child’s eyes. John asked about evaluating photos and reading photo listings. I had contemplated blogging about this, but held off. I can become a little bit jaded when I read a photo listing.

Sometimes issues got “soft peddled” when they are listed and not everything can be listed in order to protect a child’s privacy. There are workers who go to the extreme... more

Back on to readers questions. One of the questions was “What should we NEVER forget to ask to our worker before we accept a placement?”

There is a simple, but long, answer to this question.

Buy the book “The Adoption.com Guide to Adopting from Foster Care”. It’s a great book! I should know, I wrote it.

Seriously, I would buy the book just for the checklists and questions alone. It is a downloadable... more

When we first began the adoption process 8 years ago, our social worker encouraged us to make a book or photo album for the child who would be entering our home. Things to show him/her what our home was like, what our interests were, what we looked like, etc.

We did this with each of the boys. Mackenzie was a baby, and Hannah already knew us and had been to our house for respite, plus she didn’t know she was coming for an adoptive placement when she came, so only the boys received books.

These are still treasures... more

I received a call a little while ago from Hannah’s first adoptive mother. The judge has signed the permanent guardianship papers.

About a month ago, we were granted temporary guardianship, pending a guardian ad litum being assigned to make sure that we were an appropriate family.

We had followed all the procedures as far as working through an attorney, getting ICPC (Interstate Compact on Placement of Children) permission for Hannah to come here. If you have a child crossing state lines, be sure to get ICPC clearance,... more

We are in the process of having a new home study done so that we can adopt Hannah.

I have had several home studies done for different children, so I am not new to this process.

We are now playing the waiting game. We are waiting for all the records to get to the agency so that we can proceed.There are many records that need to be received. Sammy has been in two residential treatment placements, so the records need to be received from both of them. There is the attachment therapist we have worked with, the psychiatrist,... more

Hubby and I didn’t have a big drama or emotional heart wrenching when we decided to adopt from foster care. We just decided to adopt, and then started the paperwork. I looked into international adoptions, but frankly, not knowing much, the cost freaked me out.

I made a bunch of calls, signed up, and started all the paperwork. Two years later we adopted our little girl. In the two years, we had ten other children of various ages and stages. Some we loved, some we loved more, but our little girl was ours from day one. We sure are glad it turned out ok.

People... more

It really happened.

Hubby and I met at lunch at our agency’s office, and we were interviewed. Drugs, Sex, Late nights out? Every question asked and answered – nothing taboo.

We had forms to fill out, separately, in her presence, without talking, so she could see if we were on the same page. We were pretty much. I said I’d take a child under two and a half, he said a child between one and three years old. That was... more

Everyone hold your breath – today is our home study – sort of.

Instead of our home study supervisor coming to our home though, we are going to her for the first meeting. She’ll ask us lots of nosy questions about our parenting, our childhoods, our relationship with each other. If we meet her approval, she’ll come to visit our home sometime next week.

I’m glad this first visit isn’t at home. My family just left and although my mom cleaned and cleaned to leave... more

Usually it is the mom, or wife, or woman of the house who starts the ball rolling to foster-adopt. Not always of course, but in reading blogs for the last year from people adopting, waiting to adopt and hoping to adopt, rarely do the Dads start the process.

Here’s how I see it happening at least in our house and a few others I know about:

The mom wants to adopt. The dad says:

"Yea whatever". Or "Are you kidding me?"

The mom starts the paperwork and the dad reluctantly follows suit ... more