Foster Adoption

As far as I know -- or maybe inasmuch as it's obvious -- Dear Hubby and I are the only ones on either side of our family (in this generation) to form our family through adoption.  One of my uncles adopted several of my aunts nieces and nephews in my generation but because they lived in the Philippines, I really never got a chance to know them.   There is just not a lot of precedent for how we do things. That said, both our families constantly amaze me.  They have not only welcomed our children with open arms, they've been great cheerleaders and advocates for them.  You can not see any difference in how the family treats my kids verses all the… [more]

Tonight I had the privilege of talking to a great woman who has a heart for foster child adoption. She had such a neat perspective to share. I enjoyed our conversation. She desires to adopt a foster child that has dealt with loss or trauma in their life. What an interesting desire. It stems from her psychology studies in child development and trauma. She sure made me think about the many children that I know who have been adopted out of situations that were hard. Some of them are doing well- others struggle. Adoption of children out of foster care and tough situations is difficult work. It takes people like this woman that I met today dedicating themselves to making a difference. There are… [more]

We are getting ready for some pretty big travel.  Dear Hubby needs to work, so I am taking my 5 kids plus one extra to see my family 2400 miles away.  Yes, we are driving and pulling our little camper.  My thoughts these days are all about how to get us all there in one piece and still speaking to each other!  Here are my ruminations on getting ready to go:

• Block the week before you depart on your calendar.  It takes me one day per person traveling to get everything ready.   I have already informed "the Bigs" that I will not be driving them anywhere during prep week.
• Two or three weeks out, begin pulling outfits as they come through the wash: 

There is so much that goes into a foster/adoption situation. Those of you are currently living this know the mass amount of time and effort that must be dedicated in order to ensure a child's success. This is magnified when a child comes out of the foster care system because of the lack of stability that has permeated the child's life. As someone who has never been adopted, I might have been tempted to say, "Hey, the child is adopted now- what seems to be the issue? Surely they can move on with their life." If only it was that easy. Many children who have been in the foster care system before they are adopted struggle for long periods of their lives (if… [more]

A couple of weeks ago we had the ARD meeting to set my son's educational plan.   At the meeting, we set an uneasy goal to send "The Captain" on to kindergarten next year.  I left unsettled. As the next week or two went by, I began to worry.  The Captain was struggling at school.  He was hitting, fit-throwing and generally  uncooperative for at least part of each two-hour school day.  How on earth could this child succeed at a 7-hour day with "regular" kids.  Not that The Captain is "irregular."  But his little PEAR class (Pre-school Expressive and Receptive language program) has only a handful of 3 to 5 year olds, all with speech deficits and many with  other… [more]

In the last blog I talked about self-esteem issues that most children have but are prominent among adopted children. These issues range from an inaccurate view of themselves, other people's comments and the lack of stability and maturity that often comes with their situations. This is a major issues in the lives of adopted kids. They have to deal with the loss that they have faced, other people's opinions and feelings of abandonment. Amidst all of this, they need to develop a self-worth and understanding that will carry them through their lives. Many of these kids fail in that regard. The obstacles are too large, their support system doesn't understand and they lose hope. The Joint Council is looking to help you [the… [more]

This morning, I sit looking out over the rain covered lawn that I was supposed to finish mowing. Well, I guess that is not going to happen. There is a small part of me that feels badly about my inability to complete the task but the larger part of me is rejoicing at the new found freedom and small amount of time for my own activities I have gained. I know that the freedom is short lived but I  cannot tell you the last time I had a Saturday morning to relax. I love it. I think that OSG loves it too because I have yet to drag him out of bed. He LOVES to sleep in and is not afforded the option often because… [more]

"The Blitz" turned 3 last week.  I can hardly believe it. This child began life outside the womb at 27 weeks gestation; he weighed 2 lbs. 7 oz.  He was tiny.  I didn't know him then, although it seems as though I've always known him. He went from the hospital (several weeks later!) straight to foster care and his foster parents loved him as their own.  Thus he had the best possible start in life:  two parents who loved and cherished him. He came to us at 10 months, a sweet and joyful baby.  He began crawling at about 11 months and walked at 16 months.  He got his nickname, "The Blitz" because the minute he began crawling, he was as fast… [more]

It is hard to believe that it is almost April already. I can't believe how fast the time is going. It seems like it was just Christmas. The kids are at the age that they are very busy with their respective activities and I feel like I am either driving them somewhere, just got home from driving them somewhere or heading out in the next minute or two to drive them somewhere. All of this time on the road has given me plenty of time to talk with them- too much if you were to ask them. We often discuss what is going on in their lives, how they feel about it and what they can do in certain situations. So far, I… [more]

We got a call the other day to provide respite care for a little girl in a legal risk placement.  It was actually a call to be on standby and the respite care wasn't needed after all.  It got my wheels turning.  I think most parents in legal risk situations are afraid to ask for help.  I was so impressed with these parents asking their social worker to help them! Whether a sibling group arrives when you already have children or whether those siblings are your first children, it can be daunting.  Most people do not build their family three kids at a time.  And while the children may not be infants, emotionally sometimes they are.  Right now, on an emotional level, my 2, 3 and 5 year old are at… [more]